Monday, October 14, 2019

Schrodinger's Stanton Finds New Way to Kill Yanks

So you thought the only way Giancarlo Stanton could hurt the Yankees was by playing, eh?  Flailing away at pitches miles out of the strike zone, the way he did against a soon-to-be-discarded closer in the 2018 ALDS?

Or maybe you thought that Stanton was killing the Yankees by spending so much time on the DL, taking up money and room that would be better bestowed on a player who can, y'know, actually play?

Oh ye of little faith!

Our Giancarlo has discovered a way to beat the Yanks not only be playing and not-playing, but by not playing while playing!

It's not easy, I know, but that's what GC has accomplished.

Just look at last night's game.  When EE drew his two-out walk in the top of the 11th, the Yanks had no one to pinch-run for him.

Sure, that was due in part to CC's Magical Mystery Tour Ego Trip, and in part to what was truly Ma Boone's most dubious decision of the night, putting in Aaron Hicks for Cameron Maybin.

But it was also due to Giancarlo.

If he could so much as hit, the Yanks could've put him up there like one more savage in the box, a la Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series, and let him swing away.

If he couldn't go at all, the Yanks could have mournfully replaced his ass on the roster, and at least had someone on the theme—such as Tyler Wade—who could have pinch-run for EE and tried to steal second.

There's no saying if that would've won the game, of course.  Crapp may well still have allowed that home run—or more!—in the bottom of the inning.  The Astros might've had the brains to intentionally walk Brett Gardner, and just pitch to Sanchez instead.  Or maybe Gardner doesn't get his hit with a runner in scoring position.

OR...any number of other things go right, and the Yanks hang on and win.

We can't know.  There's no predicting baseball, as a great man likes to say.

But we do know that Stanton, being neither dead or alive—like Schrodinger's cat—fucks up the Yankees both ways—crucially limiting their roster AND providing absolutely no chance that any of his wild swings might accidentally manage to produce some runs.

Physics will never the same.






15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate the way the Yanks always play with a short roster. It's almost as bad as fighting with one hand tied behind your back. DL the guy and put somebody else in there. You know he's not going to be ready for at least two weeks. What's the point of having a zombie on the roster?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Schrodinger's cat needs CPR.

For the tenth time.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Just noticed the Post headline.

I think it is a tribute to 13bit. He must know someone on the headline desk.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Stephen Strasburg just completed 7 innings (117 pitches): K K K K K K K K K K K K

Nats: 7
Cards: 1

I have a strong feeling that Washington is gonna see its first World Series since 1933.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, they are going to give Houston a real battle. Should be something.

HoraceClarke66 said...

You're right, Anon. How is it this always seems to be the case? And the answer is that the Yankees under Cashman are almost never set up for the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

Hoss, one of your wishes came true: it looks now like Hicks will replace Stanton in the outfield, so you won't have to take another beer break 'cause Gianni ain't gonna bat!

Meanwhile, AccuWeather calls for 100% chance of rain in NYC on Wednesday evening. A double-header on Thursday?

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

The 12.01 AM message was from me - I got distracted by the reCAPTCHA palm trees.

Anonymous said...

Anon,

Welcome.

Just a suggestion. I post under Anonymous as well but I always sign it. You might want to come up with a name to place at the bottom of your comments so we know it is you. (As opposed to any other anon.)

Or do it with style. For example ALL CAPS is anon but he always writes in ALL CAPS. Stat's anon had a unique way of expressing himself that was identifiable as well.

That way, you get to have your Anonymous cake and eat it too.

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Dang, I was looking forward to more beer breaks!

Everything I can find says they're still not decided. We'll see.

ranger_lp said...

@Hoss...the Yanks are setup to beat Boston. Boston has early tee times. Yanks can join them soon...

ranger_lp said...

I didn't watch the game last night...did the Cardinals get a hit yet?

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

With forecasts ranging between 80% to 100% for rain in NYC on Wednesday, get ready for four games in a row:

"In the event that Game 4 is postponed, it would be made up on Thursday, while Game 5 would then be pushed back to Friday's scheduled off-day. That would mean that both teams would lose their day of rest between Game 5 and a potential Game 6 in Houston, possibly setting up the Astros and Yankees to play as many as four games in four days -- in two cities -- to decide the winner of the AL pennant."

I think a double-header on Thursday would be more fun!

Celerino Sanchez said...

What is everyone worried about. Sure we have to face Cole & Verlander 3 more times, but Houston still has to face "Big Game" James Paxton, Adam Automaticrun and another great Cashman pick up JA Happ. In addition to that trio of superstars, Jacoby Stanton will be well rested for game 7 so he can give us a Kirk Gibson moment. Lets hope it rain every other day so Tanaka can pitch the last 3 games.

HoraceClarke66 said...

His name is "Five Times Pettitte", dammit! Pettitte would've lost Sunday's game, 15-2!!

Hilarious, Celerino (one of my all-time favorite Yankees)!

And I think that is our one hope!