Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Could the next Yankee pitching coach be a boyhood idol of Gerrit Cole?

Suddenly, the Yankiverse brims with possibilities...

Larry Rothschild is out. Who should be our next pitching coach?

Let's think. Al Leiter! Dave Righetti! Mike Mussina? Pedro Martinez! Woah, Pedro... wouldn't that be delicious? 

That guy down in Tampa, whoever he is, who's always raising the Rays. Let's get him.

Wait... it should be a former Yankee. Someone not too old. Still in his forties. Bilingual. A Hall of Famer. Universally respected. Hm-mm... CC? Maybe too early. 

By the way, though the Gammonites today are right to use the f-word - "fired" - I don't see the Yankees mistreating Larry "Medicaid" Rothschild. Jeez, the guy is 65. When he trudges to the mound, it's Baatan. He's coached Yankee pitchers since 2011, survived two administrations, and we have zero pennants - worst decade in history. They canned him early, so there are plenty of openings. Jeez, when Rothschild began with the 1981 Tigers, his keystone combo was Lou Whitaker and Alan Trammel. Does anyone expect him to be LOL-ing with 20-year-old Snapchatters? All things end. The writers say "FIRED." I'd say he had a sweet ride.

Still pondering replacements... Roger Clemens? That would sure be bold. Andy Pettitte? Hm-mm... Boomer Wells? Now, that would shake up people... 

You know what'd be neat? What if it was someone Gerrit Cole happens to admire? Know why Cole grew up a Yankee fan? Fun Fact: His dad is from Syracuse, a Yankee town, and he passed that love down to his son. You can look it up. And you know who Cole has often mentioned as his favorite player? 

Mariano Rivera.

YEAH, DAMMIT, MARIANO! 

Seriously, folks, this is kismet! Is anyone more destined? In his late years, Mariano already served as a de facto pitching coach. Opposing pitchers sought him out. This year, he reconnected with the Yankees. He's 49, still young. In a pinch, he could probably throw a one-two-three inning. Would anybody NOT listen to the great Mariano Rivera? And if we don't sign him, beware: We'll wake up one day to find a rival has.  

Jeez, folks, it's a slam dunk! Mariano! Come on, Cash, make him an offer. The Yankiverse will celebrate. Suddenly, the future looks wide open. A new decade looms. There might be light at the end of that tunnel. MARIANO, DAMMIT, MARIANO!

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

It'll be someone we don't really remember nor have heard from in years. Like Brandon Knight (currently pitching coach for some Korean team). Someone who comes cheap and certainly no one to get excited about.

13bit said...

It’ll be someone who doesn’t ever question Brian, a toady, a yes-man. Someone who does not threaten his tiny penis masculinity. This is why we can’t ever have nice things again.

TheWinWarblist said...

Can't it just be someone competent and maybe a little intelligent? I know they are in short supply, in sports and the whole world over, but they are the fuckin' New York fuckin' Yankees, fuck it. they must have the resources to find someone competent and a little bit intelligent!?

Just hire somebody competent and a little intelligent, you miserable fuckers!!!




TheWinWarblist said...

I wish ill on you Hal. I wish cancer and death on you. A cruel debilitating cancer that deprives you of your ability to "lead" this noble franchise and then after interminable suffering takes your life before your time.

cabish47 said...

How about Ray Searage? He was let go in the Pirates' housecleaning.
From Wikipedia: "Searage was credited with rejuvenating the careers of Francisco Liriano, Edinson Vólquez, Charlie Morton, J. A. Happ, and A. J. Burnett."

Friend of Local Bargain Jerk said...

I really feel all the name-brands are too rich to need a day job. Moose, Pedro, etc., why would these guys want to sleep on planes and hotels for 9 months of the year so they can rub Paxton's pulled groin? I hope we've even heard of the guy that decides he hates his wife and kids (grandkids?) enough to take the job.

JM said...

Competent and intelligent is a lot to ask for.

Searage would be interesting. But he's probably competent and intelligent, so no go.

TheWinWarblist said...

FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!! FUCKERS!!!

TheWinWarblist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TheWinWarblist said...

I used to have so much repressed anger. I'm doing better now. I'm not as repressed.

Mustang said...

If it were Mo, at least they'd get their prayers in.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Right, Mustang: Mariano brings God on our side...even if, as Woody Allen said, the best thing you can say about God is that He's an underachiever.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Bitty, beautifully put. No, we can't have nice things—especially nice things that think for themselves.

Everybody has to be a robotic extension of Coops' analytic brain. AND willing to sing the company line when things go wrong, as with Sevvy's meltdown in 2018.

Anonymous said...

Earlier it was mentioned that Cone might not want the job because it would return him to the grind of a baseball season. But I believe that we tried to interview for the Yankee Manager job so it's possible that he misses it.

Mariano would be an interesting choice. I thought he was happy as a preacher. Also, as the Yankees continue to go down the analytic road is this something Mariano does? I know Cone does.

And now Happy Yankee Thought #8 (Collect 'Em All)

We are discussing who we think should replace Larry Rothschild not as an abstraction or exercise in fandom but because he is actually gone.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

"But I believe that we tried"

Should read "he" not we

Doug K.

13bit said...

Brian cannot tolerate anybody questioning his unmatched genius. It really is an ego thing. A great GM will choose strong people and let them run the show. Maybe he'll disagree once in a while, but the need for constant toadying and complete obedience is not a great way to get the best out of your organization. I will let the results speak for themselves...

Der Kaiser said...

Just as managers are typically former backup catchers who spent most of their playing careers riding the pine, thinking about the game and chatting with the bench coach (ie, what a manager does), pitching coaches are probably more likely mop-up men and spot starters who had to figure out how to tweak their delivery to get the best results from limited raw talent.

Like Doug I don't know if Mariano is interested in coaching, I had the impression he was mostly interested in preaching and missionising. Even if he was interested, how much pitching advice could he offer other than, "Pray that you suddenly develop a bizarrely unhittable pitch. Seriously, pray!" I also remember for many years every time a Yankee reliever was struggling someone would suggest, "He should talk to Mariano and get him to teach him the cut fastball!" And yet none of the others ever did turn into Mariano's protegé. I imagine if it was something that could be taught he would have taught it. He was my favourite player too during his entire tenure - who doesn't love Mariano? - and I don't think I want to see him working in baseball again. He already had a fairy tale career, perhaps THE most perfect career in baseball history - a very long, successful career with the greatest most storied team there is, multiple championships, legendary dominance that miraculously continued right up to the very end, universal respect and adulation even from opponents, no tarnishing scandals or ugly incidents, the only player ever unanimously inducted to the (absurd) Hall of Fame...what more does he have to prove or gain? Why walk back into the casino when you've already won every jackpot there is? Anything more could only tarnish perfection.

There ought to be someone out there with a track record of helping young pitchers develop, or ageing pitchers adapt, or doing something useful for someone. But didn't Rothschild have a good track record before he came to New York? No doubt a lot of well-regarded pitching coaches just have talented pitchers under their tutelage, or have the good fortune to coach in a pitcher-friendly stadium, where every pitcher who come in from somewhere else suddenly starts performing better. But someone has been coaching a lot of peskily good pitchers somewhere...

JM said...

Stan Bahnsen is only 74. Kekich is around. Lindy McDaniel is, alas, 84.

Too bad Bill Monboquette died.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bud Black over Perdo then?

TheWinWarblist said...

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

I agree about Mariano, Kaiser. I have seen and worshipped some amazing individuals in my Yankees-obsessing career, beginning with The Mick, and continuing through Roy White and Mel Stottlemyre (complete gentlemen, both, who got the most out of their talent), Reggie (greatest clutch player I ever saw), and Jeter (ditto!).

But I was such a fan of The Great One that I actually found baseball MORE enjoyable after he retired. The burden of dreams—the strain of needing to see him be perfect, every time out (for almost every time out, the game was on the line)—felt intolerable after awhile.

Hard to pass on that sort of greatness...

HoraceClarke66 said...

BUT, from what I understand, the most effective pitching coaches are a very mixed bag.

Sure, they can be people who never do that much, such as Gil Patterson (huge Yankees prospect who blew out his arm early), or Stan Williams (never became what people thought he could be), or old Jim Turner.

But genuine near-stars such as Phil Regan, or stars such as Johnny Sain, Dave Righetti, and Stottlemyre were also very highly rated as pitching coaches.

We might as well skip all that, though, and have Coops just program an android over the offseason.

TheWinWarblist said...

Verlander is out trailing 3 - 2. No chance of getting the win.

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Hoss, I would welcome any androids if it means I don't have to see Boner or Nutsack ever again.

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

FUCK YOU VERLANDER!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

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TheWinWarblist said...

Hey AOBF? You getting all this?

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Umpires need to be permanently eliminated from the game. Preferably by firing squad.

Thank you, Mr Rendon, for your revenge! But it SHOULD have been THREE runs.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I don't know. He actually knocked the guy's glove off his hand. And he's not really supposed to be there.

I think Davey Martinez has lost his mind. You're up 3 runs in the 7th, and you get thrown out of the game over a judgement call?

He's mad, I tells ya. Maaaaaaaddd!

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Winnie! We both typed at the same time! Of course, I'm here! Doin' my private Juju thang, so keeping pretty silent.

By the way, I wanted to commiserate with you when your workload took a bit of a toll on you a short while ago. I just had a horrendous, emotionally scorching week when a piece commissioned by a NYC editor got tossed to another publisher in Canad and after working with her for two weeks she said she was dropping it, and then within an hour, I had on offer from a (better, bigger) UK publisher. It finally made it, but the stress was physically and spiritually draining.

Oh yeah - ASTROS SUCK APE SHIT!

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Max can sit down now. I would crawl on my hands and knees over broken glass to lick the tires of the laundry truck that carries away his soiled underwear. He will prevail tomorrow!

Before each game Houston sacrifices nine babies and chomp on their guts using only their crooked, yellow teeth while dancing naked around a 200 kilo woman, tied to a post, and then light a fire under her and sing, off key, as she burns to death.

And they suck, too.

TheWinWarblist said...

Thanks AOBF. I'm a doctor in a demanding specialty. My practice is getting slammed right now. So foofin' busy in the office and the hospitals.


And,yes, I wholeheartedly agree: ASTROS SUCK APE SHIT! So true, so very true.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Nats up by 7-2, now.

Nonetheless, Davey Martinez has just punched out a clubhouse attendant, seized a security guard's gun, and is holed-up in his office, screaming, "I want my extra run! I want my extra run!"

HoraceClarke66 said...

Nationals win.

Davey Martinez has refused to talk to a police negotiator, and announced that instead he will set off the nuclear device he has in his office, in order to obliterate all of metropolitan Houston.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Is it just me, or is this just about as unexciting as a World Series headed into a 7th game can be? The scintillating moments have been few and far between.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

It's just you, Hoss.

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Celerino Sanchez said...

What about Ed Whitson, Steve Trout, Sergio Mitre? They all have experience at sucking in NY!

TheWinWarblist said...

But what about The Secret To Become Any Man's Secret Obsession!??

Huh!? What about that!?

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