Saturday, September 5, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Tanaka Guts It Out, Gleyber Saves the Day!

The virtual New York Yankees moved to within one game of first place tonight, with a rousing, 7-5 win in Baltimore.

Yankees starter Masahiro Tanaka, bleeding visibly from both ears, gave the Yanks a gutty six-and-a-third tonight, as his teammates plastered up a 4-3 lead behind two home runs by Miguel Andujar, and another by Gary Sanchez.

But a long home run by Sir Ryan Mountcastle, the only royal personage playing in the major leagues besides Sir Didi Gregorius, gave the O's a rare lead and cost the Yanks' fine fellow a win.

However, a three-run blast to dead center by The Gleyber, heretofore unusually quiet in a Baltimore appearance, salvaged the win for Adam Ottavino and the Yanks, with Zack(h) Britton(ain) securing the win.

Thrilling as the Yankees' rally was for Yankees fans, most of the country was absorbed in hoping for a bigger rally on Wall Street.  That didn't occur, as the Dow dropped below 45,000 for the first time in weeks, with worries about "the Red Bear" manipulating American stock markets running rampant.

In an effort to calm the country, the White House released a statement from President Trump that read in its entirety, "What're you losers worried about?  You're still ahead of the game, ain't ya?"

There was no comment from Democratic consolation candidate Joe Biden, although in the latest poll, his approval rating had ticked up to 23 percent.


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