Friday, August 13, 2021

Not in Kansas any more; the "mighty Yankees" are a different beast when not facing the Royals, Marlins and O's... (Oh, my...)

Another soul-crushing defeat on national TV... 

Another recap of past Octobers...

Another 
foreshadowing of what's ahead... 

We expected Field of Dreams. We got Friday the 13th. A drive-in horror fest. But were you surprised? Really? I watched all nine innings hiding behind the couch, never believing "the mighty Yankees" - as mellow Kevin Costner called them - would prevail. Even after Giancarlo Stanton's HR? Nope. A one-run lead in the ninth? Not enough. Just a typical Hollywood ending.

Last night's undoing happened as if scripted in a bad  M. Night Shyamalan movie (which, in recent years, is every M. Night Shyamalan movie.)  Some day-after thoughts...

1. The Yankees look big and bad against tomato cans. Pit them against a solid team - a future playoff adversary - and the giant balloon deflates rather quickly. It's hard to rip a lineup that scores eight runs, but those early-inning opportunities that lead to nothing? That's the hallmark of this team. Against a good opponent, they come back to haunt you.  

2. Whatever the Yankees saw in Andrew Healey, well, I'm not getting it. Apparently, someone in the front office thought they could tweak this guy and show up the dumb, stupid Angels - who were delighted to jettison him for a pair of prospects. (Remember the unforgettable name of Janson Junk. And yes, he's a pitcher.) This was a hubris deal, the Yankees thinking magically that everything would turn out okay. (And I'm the idiot for believing in juju?)  Healey will be a free agent next winter. December can't come fast enough. 

3. I had to laugh when Joe Buck and John Smoltz spoke in awe of the towering wave of injury talent that will soon return to the Yankees. At one point - I swear I'm not making this up - they speculated about how difficult it would be for the Yankees to calculate world series shares for all the fringe players - the most daft Yankee hallucination of 2021. What Buck/Smoltz ignored is THE IRON LAW OF THE MODERN YANKEES: As soon as someone returns, someone gets hurt. So, yeah, Luis Severino might come back. When that happens, watch Jameson Taillon.

4. Okay, I'll admit it was fun, watching the game with a 1950's backdrop of corn fields, farm houses, and rich white people. But I cannot forgive MLB for ditching the annual Hall of Fame Game - an actual tradition - for a Hollywood production. I've lived all my life in upstate New York. You cannot imagine how much that Hall of Fame game meant to people. (My dad took me to one; it's one of my greatest memories.)  When MLB pulled out, it took the silverware and pulled up the rug. So, now, they produce this show, this fake tribute to the game's pastoral roots? Fuck them! I'm sorry, but I cannot join this drunken bandwagon of gold-plated hypocrisy. 

5. As an olive branch, I propose that baseball play one game a year - or better, one weekend a year, with all teams involved - in minor league cities. Give something back to small towns. What MLB would lose in ticket sales - (and some teams wouldn't lose anything; looking at you, Tampa) - they'd make up in TV ratings. And they can play the Field of Dreams game, too. I'm okay with that. I have nothing against Iowa. (Better yet, play the All-Star Game in the cornfield. Or hold the Home Run Derby there.) (Wait... actually, the corn wouldn't be high enough in mid-July, but then again, they could use fake corn, right? Or CGI corn. Hooray for Hollywood!)  

5. Over the last few years, I've come to like Zack Britton. Not only has he not ended our last two seasons by delivering walk-off gopher balls - as another closer did - Britton is the team's union rep. He's always on the right side of arguments. Remember how he spoke out last spring on Domingo German's domestic violence issue? He's a standup guy. But, fuck me, right now, he's awful. Even his successful outings are nail-biters, often saved by line shots that happen to find gloves. Last night was always going to come down to Britton pitching the ninth. And like an evil villain in a Bond movie, we were always going to lose. I'm sorry, but the ending was formulaic and obvious. Hollywood should have done better. Two thumbs down!

13 comments:

BernBabyBern said...

Today's quiz:

Which is a more terrifying sight coming out of a cornfield?

A. The satanic, murderous psycho kids from "Children of the Corn"

B. A Yankees relief pitcher

Celerino Sanchez said...

Kluber pitched an Inning last night and gave up 5ER. He’s ready to take over as the ace of this staff

13bit said...

I have become allergic to Kool-Aid

Fuck you, Hal and Brian

And Randy Levine, fuck you, too. I never forget about you, you fat fuck, lurking naked behind the curtain.

Anonymous said...

The fault is not with Britton. The fault is with Cashman who consistently signs 30++ relief pitchers to multi-year deals at Millions and millions of $, and expects them to pitch like they are 28.

Perhaps, they need to either grow some of their own or grab some when they are like 28.

Oh Dear Lord, could I just be bathed in Mallow's Cups!!!

The Overindulged Archangel

ranger_lp said...

At least Joe Buck can crawl back under his rock until the playoffs.

Unknown said...

I can agree with you - except for your love of Britton. I remember his spouting off this spring about German. About how he didn’t think the Tankees should have to share a locker room with “someone like that.”

I didn’t hear him bitching about Chappie - the dude who had charges filed. Nope. But German - who was never charged so he could never be cleared,mtge man who had to miss two years - yeah. Britton was too good for him.

God forbid we look at results - Britton has gagged up saves, German kept the team above 500.

Britton can go out on the same boat with Hearn. Or Heany. Or whoever that worthless turd was starting the game for us. Fn WANDY couldn’t have done worse - yet another WIN for ninja Cash

HoraceClarke66 said...

Tell it, Duque!

And I've liked Britton, too—but he looks done. Great preparation for that, Brain.

Anonymous said...

"I propose that baseball play one game a year - or better, one weekend a year, with all teams involved - in minor league cities. Give something back to small towns."

So let me get this straight. Playing a game in front of rich white folks = bad. Playing a game in small town in front of less-heeled white folks = good? Is there a diversity quotient in small town America I'm not aware of?

Anonymous said...

Well, when you put it that way and reframe the question and then ask a hypothetical question in response to it, I guess there might be an intelligence quotient in anonymous screen users that comes in to play. Generally, they do get to be bigger assholes because they are not accountable. Fuck off and die, schmuck.

Anonymous said...

Touchy aren't we? Was it something I said? And such Language!

Anonymous said...

be careful, youre offending the moron with your language

Anonymous said...

Such fertile soil for trolling here! Thanks fellow Anons - I'll be coming to plant often!

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