Saturday, February 26, 2022

A brutal war ravages the signs of hope that baseball was supposed to deliver

Last night, I watched a young Ukrainian father tell Rachel Maddow how his family - holed-up in a basement with food running out - hoped to flee Kyiv, though they have no gas for the car. When the interview was done, she was almost crying. 

Dear noble, wealthy, patrician lords of baseball, 

If you'll indulge me a moment... You seem to think fan loyalty is unbreakable, and that our lives are forever indebted to you, who you grew up to inherit the pillars of a game that our fathers raised us on. Well, here's a thought, straight from a former outpost on the Black Sea:

Go fuck yourselves. 

Over the last few months, the world could have used the hopes that once bubbled up from spring training camps everywhere, but somewhere along the way, you weren't making enough money, or feeling enough power, so you locked it up and shut it down.  

This is the weekend when baseball either solves its labor impasse or starts canceling regular season games. 

Well, I just want to say that, if you go ahead and blow the deadline, this sad, wild world will go on without you - as it will someday without Vladimir Putin. 

In the meantime, I suggest you enjoy your moments of fantasy empowerment, when you can pretend to be an important person. Because here's a secret, now being exposed nightly around the world from bunkers and basements where families are taking cover: 

You really don't matter much at all. 

Cancel the regular season, my friends, and you'll be surprised how little you are missed, and how quickly you are forgotten. 

13 comments:

BTR999 said...

To paraphrase the brave Ukrainian border guards: MLB owners…go fuck yourselves

DickAllen said...


Amen.

Parson Tom said...

Damn right!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hear, hear, Duque!!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Very well said, El Duque. Unfortunately, you, the rest of the blog and the entirety of sports fans don't exist to them. We are invisible except as some aggregate number on a profit and loss statement.

Let me add my voice to the chant: Go fuck yourselves....sideways!

Doug K. said...

born2

The example from the current tragedy in Ukraine that stayed in my mind was the woman who was giving sun flower seeds to Russian soldiers and telling them to put them in their pockets. She told them that way, after they are killed, sunflowers would grow where they died.

Ouch! And one of the best fuck yous I've ever heard.

Not to trivialize it, but maybe we should be sending packs of David's Seeds to the MLB offices.



EDB said...

Bravo, El Duque! Well said!

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Doug

With any luck, those sunflower seeds were incubated in Chernobyl, Ukraine.

Alphonso said...

You Be Right. I already don't give a shit.

The UCONN Lady Huskies are back!

Gary Frenay said...

As I sit here in my brother's cushy Bradenton condo, having NOT attended the opening day of spring training today in Sarasota (Yanks vs Orioles) that I dutifully purchased tickets for (and planned my Florida trip around), I couldn't agree with this sentiment more. Yes, go fuck yourselves!!!

ranger_lp said...

Yes...let's cancel the season...I'm ready for Cornhole 24/7 on ESPN after the hockey and basketball seasons are done...Pickleball too...

The Archangel said...

As we have all basically stated;
MLB players and owners,
you are parasites on our lives.
guess what happens to parasites when the host does, or takes a cure- the parasites die.

How do you say "go fuck yourselves ' in Ukrainian?

I am faithfully waiting for opening day for the Kannapolis Cannon Ballers of MILB where I can get a game, a brew and a hot dog for me and my grandsons for about what it takes to pay for parking at Yankee Stadium

Dantes said...

This right here. It needs to be sent to every major league owner