The 2025 Yankees...
I got nuthin...
I mean, like, it's, like, um... you expect me to say something?
I got nuthin. For more than 20 years, every day, every morning, I've gotten up before dawn, swallowed five cups of coffee, and debased myself, writing about the team that blessed my adolescence and has haunted me ever since. Didn't matter how they were playing. I had something to say. But this team - this sad, staggering, reanimated corpse of an organization - this collective monstrosity of disconnected ownership, overzealous management and tired players - I got nuthin.
I consider the worst Yankee year in this millennium to be 2013, the season of Pronk, Vernon Wells, Lyle Overbay, Jason Nix and Melky Mesa. The Yankees finished third in the AL East.
This team reminds me of 2013. We've got a Pronk (Giancarlo), a Wells (Bellinger), an Overbay (Goldie) and, as we track towards third, everywhere we look, we see our castoffs, thriving.
Gleyber is the all-star 2B. He's an outside candidate for MVP. Juan Soto is baseball's hottest hitter. Clay Holmes. Sonny Gray. Nathan Eovaldi. Meanwhile, we're watching Anthony Volpe disintegrate. Next year, they'll trade him for a handful of magic beans, and once he's gone, just watch...
Nope. I got nuthin.
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31 comments:
A quick coffee question….
How do you take your multiple daily cups of joe?
Black?
With Sugar?
Whitened?
Hot?
Cold?
Instant?
Brewed?
Plunged?
Variations of the above?
Not asking for a friend?
I’m personally curious.
Lady cab driver - Can U take me 4 a ride?
Don't know where I'm goin' 'cuz I don't know where I've been
So just put your foot on the gas - let's drive
Lady - don't ask questions
Promise I'll tell U no lies
Trouble winds r blowin', I'm growin' cold
Get me outta here - I feel I'm gonna die
~ Prince
Coffee - I always liked it the way I'd order it on Ye Olde Lower East Side back in the day, as they say, hey hey - "light and sweet." Lotsa good old white sugar and lotsa milk. In recent years, I have used much less sugar, often brown sugar, and lotsa milk. There were years when I used Ye Olde Oat Milke instead. And at a hotel breakfast room, ALWAYS at least 10 mini buckets of Ye Olde Halfe and Halfe. RECENTLY, though, I got a "pre-diabetic number" in Ye Old Blood Worke and I'm drinking it with lotsa milk. Lotta mo' milk, lotta less fun, as they say in Lotta Lotta Land.
Butt injection.
I watched the game replay when I got up today at noon with a hangover. Don't know why, I went to bed not long after seeing the score was 7-0 in the first, assuming they'd get killed. Must be the hangover.
So Stanton's shot was great. And Judge, instead of choking in the late innings, tied the game with his shot in the eighth, which surprised me to no end. Volpe ended a nascent rally by hitting into a double play, which did not surprise me at all. God, he sucks.
And then, the great Devin Williams. Blew the game, popped the bubble, deflated every Yankee fan on the planet. Another great acquisition. And I knew there was no coming back in the ninth. Again, no surprise there.
Milk, no sugar.
Scarily, that actually exists:
https://www.healthline.com/health/coffee-enema
Coffee with 1/2 + 1/2 to cool it down.
Espresso with Serge's twist and a little sugar.
Duque, you got nothin’ because they got nothin’.
It is numbing, watching the same shit year after year, the same failures, the ongoing ripoffs, cynically foisted on us by the same characters who never take responsibility for their actions.
Coffee? Yes please. Very strong , a little milk or creamer and one Sweet ‘n’ Low.
I hate it when I'm right, which I am all too often with this team. I said it when we got him, "I don't like the idea of a closer who's big pitch is a change-up. What's he changing up from?"
I don't think they will trade Volpe for magic beans. I think Cashman will keep him until he is a free agent, desperately hoping he will turn it around, somehow...then let him walk, a la Gleyber. The worst of all possible scenarios.
Duque you can't have nothing!! That's my move!
All I wanted to do was abandon ship and spend the rest of the season in a sensory deprivation tank, punctuated only by guided meditations by the late great Thich Naht Hanh reminding me to "Smile.... Release..."
I was going to grow tomatoes and, if I eventually had some, chase my grandchildren around the garden while pretending to be some kind of monster until the Good Lord gave the heart attack that I’ve been working on since my first plate of fried calamari back when I opened the olive oil importing business…
Instead I’m back here because I made the mistake of checking in on a game that was effectively over when Michael Kay said, “Let’s do it.”
Duque, you can’t have nothing. Take a page from Roseanne Roseannadana, there’s always something.
AA -
My AM ritual is very similar to El Duque’s although I suspect mine has a lot more morning phlegm.
I drink several cups of black coffee made in a 32oz French press.
I have a number of teas from a company called Teechino. I throw a tablespoon in there on top of the coffee from time to time to add a little sweetness.
My favorite is a mushroom prebiotic Chaga Ashwagandha blend that both lowers blood pressure and makes the coffee taste great. Big fan.
OK… back to the tank. So long suckers... :)
Yikes! Sweet & Low. That stuff is deadly, man! Basically saccharin. Try stevia (but without the added erythritol; that additive can lead to very heightened stroke and heart attack chances even in normal amounts). You'll live to see the next Yankees WS championship.
There our 2025 New York Yankees got Judge and then a whole lot of nuthin' ...
We should go to a Hudson Valley Renegades game, yes?
I live fearlessly, Carl…
I heartily recommend a different kind of pre-tank float mushroom.
It enhances the experience.
And even if you dream that you are an Australopithecus, and then wake up naked at the Sacramento Zoo covered in sheep's blood, my guess is that it will be well worth any inconvenience . . .
Tempting. Very tempting.
fishkill is a wonderful name
Means fish creek in Dutch (not Deutsche).
In Honolulu there is a tuna boat called Fishkill. I sometimes eat where the boats dock because they have really good poke. The guys from the boat have tshirts that read "Fishkill. -- it's what we do "
A trip down (recent) memory lane:
https://yanksgoyard.com/brian-cashman-contentious-2023-anthony-volpe-rant-is-all-time-yankees-embarrassment
Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.
daughter is in Kona for the next week . . .
¢ ª s h m ª n
Kona's nice. Be careful of the volcanic smog/vog. Kilauea has been erupting.
Great scuba diving there🌋🌊🏖🤿
Snorkeling
Still really good.
game thingy is Up
The last time I did mushrooms was many years ago. The experience was off-putting. I woke up a day later in a strange place to a boy with a foreign accent playing with my feet.
AA...have her bring back a few pounds of Kona's finest coffee.
I concur. I'd recommend blending it 1:10 with whatever strong grind you prefer. It really evens the taste. By itself, it's a little too weak.
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