Dave Comes Bearing Gifts 2

Dr. Melfi's 2nd Session With AJ

Footage of Yankee Being Stomped Goes Viral on Internet

Identified in the picture is Yankee supporter David Robertson, who was viciously attacked while attending a Texas Rangers game last week. The assailant is believed to be outfielder Josh Hamilton, who said the attack was merely a "dry drunk thing" and said the camera angle gives the false appearance that Robertson's brains are leaking out onto the pavement.

Bill Shannon, 1941-2010

Yankee fan, baseball writer and official American League scorekeeper Bill Shannon, 69, died in a fire at his mother's house in New Jersey Tuesday morning. Marty Noble's obituary for him at mlb.com is thorough, fittingly sentimental and beautifully expressed:

Shannon was a character, different from most of the denizens of the press box. He stuck with sideburns longer than most, and had no use for computers, cellullar phones or other electronic gadgets of the day. When he scored, all that was in front of him on the press box desktop was his pens, scoring sheets, cups and cups of Pepsi and a deli sandwich he had purchased near his mother's home. His Pepsi consumption cost him his teeth, but he could get through a thick sandwich without trouble.

The book of scoring rules remained in his satchel, no need to reference it. Shannon might not have known the numbers and letters and paragraphs of the scoring rules, but he knew the rules and spirit of the rules. Jordan Sprechman is an attorney. He was one of Shannon's friends and business associates. They co-authored one book "This Date in New York Sports" and were collaborating on "Who's Who in New York Sports." Sprechman also is one of New York's official scorers.

"Bill didn't need to have the rulebook out. He knew what rule applied," he said. "Sure enough, you'd look it up and Bill had it right."

Shannon was considered a press box authority. He kept track of pitches before pitching coaches did and timed innings so when a particularly long one occured -- see Steve Trachsel, Jim McAndrew and all Yankees-Red Sox games -- he knew precisely how much time had passed. He delivered the pitching lines in unique fashion that prompted plebes to wonder.

He would speak the line -- say: seven innings, six hits, three runs, two earned, three walks, two strikeouts, one home run and one hit batsman. Then he'd repeat it at a quicker pace, pausing with one entry remaining. Then with great emphasis on the number, he would say "and one hit batsman." It became a ritual.

You should go and read the rest here.

GREATEST OFFER EVER!!!!!! FREE DIRT!!!!! ONLY $4!!!!

Folks, this is a deal!!!

To honor the Yankees' level of play in the ALCS against the Texas Rangers, Steiner Sports Collectibles is offering all Yankees fans FREE DIRT from the old Yankee Stadium for only $4!!!! (The $4 is a handling fee, which is reasonable, because it is very difficult to find people who wish to handle dirt for a living).

And get this, folks: It is CERTIFIED GAME-USED DIRT!!!!!! Yes, it might have been trampled on by Aaron Boone after his ALCS-winning home run in 2003, or kicked by Edwar Ramirez after giving up a grand slam in 2008 ... you never know!!! And that's half the fun!!!

Remember folks, while other franchises treat their fans like dirt, the Yankees give you some of theirs!!!!

ORDER TODAY!!!!

10 Reasons Why Jesus Montero Will Become a Great Yankee Catcher

1. Remember: At 20, Jorge Posada played 2B.

2. Nobody ever said, "You can't teach fielding; great fielders must be born."

3. The scouts said rookie Derek Jeter's glove wasn't ready.

4. Biggest complaint -- he's too big -- is a fraud. Jesus is 6'4 and 225. Baltimore superprospect Matt Wieters is 6'5, 225.

5. Two teachers -- Joe Girardi and Tony Pena -- know a bit about catching.

6. Posada, a great Yankee, will see him not as his replacement -- but as his legacy.

7. It'll be a sin to steal on Jesus.

8. Montero's only Yankee shot is catcher. If he played 1B, he'd have no chance.

9. Catching is 90 percent hustle and desire. With Yankee Stadium crowds, Montero will bring both.

10. Fukkit. It's him or Chad Moeller.

Could Joba's Failure Be Dave's Fault?

Maybe somewhere there was a failure to communicate

This Just In: Dr. Melfi Hired As Yankee Pitching Coach/Therapist

Could there also be another reason for Dave's departure?

That's A Really Good Point, But I Can't Think Of Anything Either

In the comments adjoining the post Bite Me Brainiac:

Well?

Anyone?

Dave Comes Bearing Gifts

BITE ME, BRAINIAC True Fan Schools Eastern Egghead Elitist

Over at the lamestream New York Times, an elite economics pinhead (who's at least honest enough to call what he does "Freakonomics") tried his level darnedest to spin one of the really important issues now facing Americans: what value our free market should place on Derek Jeter's next contract.

If I were Jeter, here’s what I might propose: a salary of just $1 a year to play for as long as I’m valuable, along with a lifelong personal-services contract in exchange for, say, a 5 percent stake in ownership of the team.

Sounds smart, right?  Came this close to sucking me in--until commenter/patriot George weighed in with a nutritious helping of plain-folks aw-shucks tobacco-spittin' jeans-bulgin' heartland wisdom:

League rules prevent active players from having an ownership interest in the team. Also, there’s a league minimum salary of approximately $400,000-$500,000.

 BAM! POW! What do you say to that, Poindexter?

This Just In: Dave Eiland Hired As Bosox Pitching Coach

Does anyone now doubt the Yin-Yang between the Gints and Yanks? 10 Omens you should have seen

Face it, folks: After the ALCS, Tony Romo was doomed.

Omens:

1. Yankees'' "Tex" injured.

2. Ex-Astro Lance Berkman falls, hits head.

3. Giants win NLCS.

4. Big game from Kevin Boss.

5. Romo carted off on meat tray. (Think: Sergio)

6. Texan Phil Hughes pitches horribly.

7. Andy Pettitte, former Astro, beaten.

8. ALCS score (combined): Texas 32, NY 13.
MNF score: NY 41, Texas 35

9. Yanks' running game vanishes.

10. Dave Eilland sacked.

Through the tears, it's time to nominate October's Yankee Employee of the Month!

Who will wear the pin?

C.C.?

Andy?

Jeet?

Mo?

John?

Suzyn?

Robbie?

Dave "No Man is a Whipping Post" Eilland?

Update: The Machine Unavailable For Yank Pitching Coach Job

IIH expert graphic analysis was able to reveal that man behind the Machine's mask is indeed the S&M expert Nolan Ryan, he of the no innings limit for pitchers.

Rumor: Brian Wilson's Mentor "The Machine" Slated To Be Named Next Yankee Pitching Coach

 

The machine appeared briefly in an interview that Brian did with sbnation

IT'S OVER Yanks' New York Daily News Hot Topics Run Ends TEA PARTY TOPPLES LAST YEAR'S CHAMPS

A Steinbrenner Summit Meeting

Seeming Innocent IT IS HIGH Post Becomes Mirror Reflection on American Voter Rage

This is exactly what Pedroia and his pack of cowards want...

A once-unified House that Ruth Built... divided.

Scenes We'd Like To See: Cashman Fires Himself

With the help of Cashman look a like Matthew Broderick, Yankee GM Brian Cashman fired himself at a press conference today.
Cashman said the move had nothing to do with poor decisions over the last few years, including the long term expensive contracts given to A-Rod, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira and the acquisition of such over the hill, injury prone and talentless players such as Nick Johnson, Austin Kearns,  Lance Berkman,  Randy Winn, Chan Flo Park and Javier Vazquez. "It was time for a change, an opportunity came up to star in the new movie, The Diary Of A Wimpy Kid. It could be a blockbuster with several sequels." Also time was needed to bleach Brian's tongue which had been discolored an unflattering doody brown from the constant Steinbrenner family rim jobs that Brian had performed.
When Kimberly Jones asked about his savvy signing of Marcus Thames and Kerry Woods, Brian said
he was away at those times and that those deals were inked by a 19 year old Hunter College intern.