1. Set
the defense.
2. Make
sure teammates get sleep on night before derby.
3. Give
signs to “swing away.”
4. Uphold
traditional, hard-fought sanctity of All-Star Game Home Run Derby.
5. Take
troubled teammates under wing.
6. Absolutely
prohibit tomfoolery.
7. Run
out grounders, even though nobody in the field.
8. Yell
“Get out! Get out! Get out!” when teammate hits long fly.
9. Make
sure hookers get paid.
10. Pretend to take it seriously.
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