Yankeetorial The Anduw Jones Fatigue Factor

I hate to say this, because last year he blossomed into a pleasant surprise, and I came to like that goofy, yolta-dolta, "gee-wilikers-Mr.-Wizard!" smile. He seems to be liked, a decent human being, a calming presence, a salty old vet. Several winters ago, I wrote a series of compelling and emotionally draining posts - often compared to Spencer Tracy's arguments in "Inherit the Wind" - that the Yankees should sign Andruw Jones. Nobody listened. The bastards.

Now, though, I am growing tired of Andruw Jones.

Last night, he pinch hit in the ninth with Dewayne Wise fidgeting around on first. Until Andruw stepped to the plate, Wise was jumping around like a coke freak, edging towards second, threatening to steal, drawing throws like a carnival clown sitting over a water tank. Once Andruw came up, he stopped. And everybody knew why:

Because Andruw Jones doesn't hit singles. Nope. Doesn't happen. No reason for Wise to steal second. He would only score on an HR. Andruw was up to do what he always does: Hit one out, walk or whiff.

On a team that is dangerously reliant on home runs, Andruw Jones is the worst offender, the extra Philips head screwdriver you don't need in the box. He's the slugger off the bench who isn't slugging. He's not batting his weight, and he's been dieting. It's almost July; he'll probably lose more weight in the heat. And if he gets hot, maybe five HRs in 10 games - no singles - it'll be nice, but we'll simply move deeper the red zone of a first round playoff knockout.

We keep salivating for Brett Gardner to return - although nothing is guaranteed, something's screwy with his elbow. When Gardner does heal, he'll probably replace Wise - which won't change much. Wise is a great fielder. Wise bats LH. Wise steals bases. Lately, Wise has hit.

Gardner will offer a slightly faster, more fragile form of Wise, while  Andruw will keep a-chugging to the plate, another all-or-nothing swinger on this all-or-nothing team.

Last night, he brought nothing.

Anduw took a called strike three, right down the pipe, and strode to the dugout wearing his hum-a-happy-tune smile. That's OK. I don't mind the smile. I'm just wondering if Ronnier Mustellier in Scranton has a once-around-the-league in him, and if so, could we bring somebody off the bench who can bat more than .205?

When down by a run, this team needs a reason to steal second.