Monday, August 5, 2013

A-Rod Night in America: Join us for an IT IS HIGH live blog (assuming this thing works)

Join us at 8 p.m., EST.


JM said...

Commissioner Bud Selig issued the following statement:

"Baseball must do everything it can to maintain integrity, fairness and a level playing field. We are committed to working together with players to reiterate that performance-enhancing drugs will not be tolerated in our game.

"Any more. I mean, 20 years ago, when I fucked up with the strike thing, it was OK. I doffed my hairpiece to Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds, even though my 11-year-old neighbor could see they were juiced to the gills. But I talked to the owners and we figured the whole HR thing was getting asses back in the seats, so it was fine with us.

"Then all these people started yowling, and even the Olympic committee didn't want baseball in the Games because of all the juicing. Jesus, that was a mess. It's taken years for the me and the owners to put up enough of a smokescreen to make the public forget how complicit we were in the whole PED thing to start with.

"But now, we're on the other side of that black hole, and I and the owners and a whole lot of players stand together as paragons of virtue ready to hunt down and persecute every cheater we can find, especially if he's named A-Rod because Hal wants to get out of that crappy contract he signed and, personally, I've had a boner over this guy ever since he tomahawk chopped that pitcher's arm to knock the ball loose.

"So justice is being done. As long as it doesn't include me and the owners and anyone else who deserve a good chunk of the blame for 'The Steroid Era.' This is America, and billionaires shouldn't be held accountable for anything, especially when they have a monopoly and can collude like crazy to cover up their part in a shitstorm.

"The best defense is a good offense. Except if you're a player and your offense it TOO good, then I'll have your ass on a hook."

JM said...

From River Ave. Blues:

Union head Michael Weiner contacted MLB on Saturday to talk about a settlement, but was rebuffed. Alex contacted the team about buying out his contract but was told no dice.
“We believe that the Commissioner has not acted appropriately under the Basic Agreement,” said Weiner in a statement. “Mr. Rodriguez knows that the Union, consistent with its history, will defend his rights vigorously.”

There's still a union? This guy draws a check? Wow.

BernBabyBern said...

John M,
The Selig statement is brilliant.