Saturday, August 17, 2013
Posted by el duque at 7:52 AM
The plan is for the Yankees to be humiliated, booed out of Boston, eliminated from all races, and ridiculed, rebuked, condemned, on the national stage. It should be the most enjoyable Yankee-hating excursion since the afternoon when Reggie and Billy squared off in the dugout, prompting concerns over the downfall of civilization,.
Now, the unnamed sources of Bud the Lips are claiming that A-Rat snitched - a deed beyond dirty, because he was not only lying to MLB but also dishing dirt on the brotherhood. Frankly, a lifetime ban won't be enough. This calls for concrete booties.
I hereby propose that A-Rod also be banned from post-retirement appearances in shopping malls, Ramada Inns, thruway rest stops and on Dancing with the Stars. (Though I personally would allow him on Hillbilly Hand-Fishing.)
Hmm, I hesitate to mention the gorilla sitting across from me. His name is not Magilla. It is "Hope." Yes, a glimmer of hope - yes, hope! - in this hopeless season. Last night, our blowout early lead harkened back to the days of Lou and Catfish, when Billy and Reggie appalled the Oh-Dears of American justice. Everyone hated the Yankees then. We were pure evil, pure greed, pure defiance.
That year, Boston held a 7 and a half game lead with 41 games to play.
Today, we are down by 7 and one games. There are 41 games to play.
Apocalypses don't happen twice in a lifetime, do they?
We'll know soon enough. It's Shame Weekend. Wear Kevlar. (And go get 'em, Hiroki.)