Tuesday, August 6, 2013

It's a nightmare, it's a media circus, it's a nightmare media-circus: Highlights of John Sterling's A-Bombination last night

Read the Live Blog, if you want to relive that magical Yankee night. But in the meantime, some highlights:


The lineup Show - by Remax! (Nobody in the world sells more real estate than Remax!) Suzyn tells Brian Cashman that it's a positive day for baseball, not a negative one, because MLB has shown it can fight drugs without drug tests. Brian mumbles.

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Suzyn: Tonight's defensive alignment is sponsored by Black Bear Premium Franks. The game time temperature is sponsored by Peerless Boilers. The umps are sponsored by the law firm that chases measialoma. We'll be back with the start of tonight's game after this commercial.

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John; "Just think, within a week or 10 days, the Yankees have added Soriano, Granderson and A-Rod!"
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John says it looked like Cano was safe. Suzyn says Robbie didn't start running hard until he was halfway down the line. "He's (Cano's) got to take a look at that." John's response: "Well said."

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John: "This is a VERY unKonerko year."

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It was high, it was short... John says: "Hey, a single is a single.

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John: "It is a FAIR BALL! Vernon Wells hit a bullet... if they get the two runs, they'll be back in the ballgame!"*

John: "The Yankees don't score ONE SINGLE RUN. Tells you something about the offense, doesn't it?"
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John's second Yadda Yadda Yadda of the game by my count
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John: "A nightmare season and now a nightmare game."
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John: Wowie-zowie.
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John: "I don't think he should have taken questions. The case is pending. There is nothing to say."
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 Suzyn: "The media circus here was ridiculous... I saw players from the White Sox coming over to shake Alex's hand."
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John: "I love it when people say it's a media circus, because the media makes it a media circus, if they didn't write about it, it wouldn't be a media circus."
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John: "You've heard the phrase such and such is good for business? Well hitting base hits and hitting home runs, THAT'S good for business."

9 comments:

KD said...

Robbie shrinking yet another double into a single. This behavior is getting very old. He is no Yankee.

Anonymous said...

Screw you Mustang! Treaty ends. Agreement off! It's go time!

el duque said...

Robbie didn't shrink it into a single. He shrank it into an out.

joe de pastry said...

These suspensions don't prove that MLB is cleaning up the game. In fact, they prove the opposite. Most of these suspended players never failed a drug test. So if they took PEDs but passed their tests, the tests don't work. The only reason MLB caught these guys is that one of Bosch's buddies got pissed off at him and leaked the documents to that Miami newspaper.
How many other clinics and "doctors" are selling the same stuff Biogenesis was selling to players? How many players are using that stuff but not getting caught by MLB's obviously unsuccessful testing program?
Unless, of course, the stuff provided by Biogenesis to at least SOME players is not actually illegal under the CBA drug agreement. Maybe that's why SOME players did not fail MLB's drug tests. Maybe the stuff Bosch provided personally to SOME players at those players' homes was legal under the CBA. Maybe it was used to help that player, I mean SOME players, recover from hip surgery and did not actually enhance that, I mean those, players' performances. Maybe those players wanted to buy records from Biogenesis to prove this truth, but Bosch said no because he got a better offer from MLB.
Maybe Bud Selig is the real villain in this story.

KD said...

Let's ban medications that facilitate healing. It'll make the game more honest and exciting.

John M said...

Bravo, Signore de Pastry.

Let's ban ALL medications, no matter what they are. No aspirin, no band-aids, nothin'. If you get cut, you bleed until it clots itself. If it doesn't stop, you die or--should you seek outside treatment--you're banned for life.

Also, NO hot tubs, whirlpools or any of that unnatural shit. Enough already.

And NO WEIGHT TRAINING. This gives some players an unfair advantage over those who want to watch more TV and eat Cheez Doodles instead. It's not natural.

I'm kind of on the fence about pitch and catch. On the one hand, if someone doesn't do it, they may not be as sharp as those who do. OK, BAN IT.

Every player must also be between 5' 11" and 6' 1" and under 220 pounds. No exceptions. This can be 220 pounds of wobbling fat cells or 220 pounds of lean, mean, fighting machine. Doesn't matter. Remember, though, no weight lifting.

And all stadiums must install domes if they don't already have them. Losing a ball in the sun is unfair.

Oh, and the lights under the dome can't be positioned anywhere they might get in a player's eyes. In fact, no lights at all. If everyone plays in the dark, there is no unfair advantage.

Let's go, MLB. Time to really clean this game up, not just do your little PED bullshit charade.

One more thing. If you're bald, you're bald. That's it. You hear me, Selig? You goddamn unnatural freak.

Anonymous said...

BRAVO Joe De Pastry, and BRAVO John M!!!!!

John M said...

By the way, this article should be read aloud over the PA system in every baseball stadium every day for the next 50 games.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/9522826/alex-rodriguez-transgressions-deserve-understanding

Anonymous said...

Is Cashman going to grab Laynce Nix off the scrap heap now too?