Sunday, June 8, 2014

Brian Cashman is only person in world who thinks Mark Teixeira and Carlos Beltran will stay healthy

The Evil Emp has passed on Kendrys Morales, out-gunned by those free-spending Minnesota Twins. The official "reason:" Teixeira and Beltran are fine, so the Bombers have no place in their powerhouse lineup for a 1B-DH.

This means the Yankees are back to square one - hovering at .500, unable to score runs, and looking to trade prospects they don't have for another team's Antiques Road Show salary dump.

Listen: Everyone knows that you can't predict baseball, you just can't, no matter what anybody thinks, you... just... can't... but - well - here is a prediction anyway:

By the time Kendrys Morales is ready to play for the Twins - they estimate it'll take two weeks - either Teixeira or Beltran will be out. One of the two will be nursing something. Just wait.

It's fate, that's all. Some things simply have to happen. And this is one.

Whether you're early
Or whether you're late,

It don't mean shit to fate.

7 comments:

Conrad said...

But Morales himself is a specimen in the Antiques Road Show, albeit slightly less tarnished than, say. Lyle Overbay. At age thirty, it's been five years since Morales had a really impressive offensive season(he's never been much with the glove); for the past two seasons his OPS has dipped below .800. Slotting him into this Yankee lineup is not a game-changer, much less a team-changer. It's just another mirage to further delude those who believe, "We're just one player away." No . . . the Yankees are about eight players away. Every acquisition like Morales postpones a reckoning with the inevitable--wiping the Steinbrenner/Cashman slate clean and building from below with a competent management team for about four or five years. That's REALITY. Time to deal with it.

John M said...

Hey, how youse guys doin'? Lookit, I don't wanna say it's anythin' that could maybe be...'arranged'...but that Beltran guy is not gonna be any help at the plate or in the field. Some people I know know some people...let's just say they kinda put guys outta commission from time to time. Not necessarily forever, I mean, not if you don't want, but y'know, accidents happen. Sometimes guys fall down, like, stairs or somewhere, break somethin'. Cars get in crashes, guys lose control, boom--in the hospital three, four weeks and then a lotta rehab.

I'm not sayin' this could happen, but y'know, these things could happen. It doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg, either, if you pardon the pun.

Just think it over. No pressure. You got any other guys you maybe wanna sit down for a while, lemme know.

Hey, too bad about that CC, ain't it? Jeez, what tough luck for the big guy. Ya know what I'm sayin'?

KD said...

John M, are you sure you're not from Jersey?

Anonymous said...

John M. Screw You.

Love,
Carlos Beltran

Anonymous said...

"Ya know what I'm sayin'?"
Yes, we know what you're sayin and its totally without any humor or intelligence.

John M said...

Clearly one of us is.

By the way, your mother wears Army boots.

John M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.