Friday, June 13, 2014
Posted by el duque at 6:38 AM
That's why we adore them. They do their own thing. You can pray or chant or handle serpents - or in Alphonso's case, drink wine while reading Sylvia Plath books by candlelight - but, hell, we can never grasp what the juju gods are thinking. They go wherever they want, and they do whatever they want, like Bill Murray. And once again, this week, they have fried our oysters, mentally.
Somehow, our application for a Yankee juju intervention circulated through the vast eternal bureaucracy and was green-lighted. Three in a row, baby, three in a row!
To refresh your memory: After we lost two out of three to the KC Royals - a team so miserable that its greatest claim to fame is being mentioned in a song by pop temptress Lorde - we called an International Juju Intervention (IJI), asking for Yankee fans globally to confront their preferred electronic viewing devices and send motivational Rizzutonic particles through the ensuing electro-temporal, Higgs-balsamic wormhole - aw, hell, I won't humiliate you by trying to explain the quantum physics - and jump-start this frickin' Yankee team.
On the night of our intervention, a dark and mysterious cloud - literally - swamped our chances. The game was rained out - an unprecedented event in the annals of juju.
But... hang on, Sloopy! - three straight wins! A sweep! The first sprigs of growth! Evidence of life on the Yankee planet! It's happened at 3 a.m. on the East Coast, when only junkies and juju gods are watching. Are the extra-terrestrials toying with us? If so, I have a formal response: KEEP IT COMING, FELLAS!
We can't process what's happening. Did our aborted intervention somehow capture some juju ward healer's attention? Were they asleep? Did they see the flashing IT IS HIGH siren and think, 'Holy crap, it's already June - time for Jeet to start hitting.' I dunno. But I know this: In baseball, and in juju, there is no such thing as a coincidence.
Three in a row, baby.!Three in a row! Success! Joy! Serendipity! Thank you, sir, may I have another? Thank you, sir, may I have another? Thank you, sir, may I have another...