Friday, June 20, 2014

The Great Yankee Hope of Hope Week 2014: Aaron is the new Jesus

Wednesday, the Upheaval Empire elevated Aaron Judge to Tampa, where the 2013 first-round pick - the tallest (6'7") and most off-the-bus, intimidating Yankee outfielder since the two Davids, Winfield and Justice. Judge was leading the Atlantic Coast League in hitting (.333) and walks (39), with decent power (9 HR), and his promotion was prophesized by the bloviation wing of the Yankiverse, in much the way that Chelsea Handler anticipated the first orgasmic encounter between Kim and Kanye.

Judge has a way to go. He is 22 - older than Cito Culver or Dante Bichette Jr., the poster children for controversial Yankee picks. At Charleston, anything less than Sherman's march to the sea would have been a disappointment, dropping Judge into the Biz Bag of deflated studs - the Mason Williamses and Slade Heathcotts. But he tore apart Charleston, and even in a farm system where our biggest erections seem to go flacid somewhere between Tampa and Trenton - and he's still a year away - Aaron Judge has established himself as The Great Yankee Hope of Hope Week 2014.

Which makes him The Second Coming of Jesus.

Of course, I'm referring to Jesus "Hey-Seuss" Montero, who carried our Hope Week banners for three relatively hope-challenged years, between 2009 and 2011 - until the Great Swap of Quarks - Montero for Pineta - two theoretical particles. Scientists are still studying that deal, wondering who won, and what the hell happened? Some questions can never be answered. This is one. Humankind is not meant to have the answer.

Which brings us to the future of Aaron Judge.

Last night, in his first game at Tampa, he went 2 for 4. Today... right now... this minute... this frickin MOMENT IN TIME... he is the guy that any team would demand for a front-line starter. He is the price of a David Price. Of course, the deal wouldn't end with Judge. The team would want one or two players closer to the show. But Judge is the chip that could seal a deal, in much the way that Drew Henson was, when the Yankees traded for David Justice.

Which brings us to Brian Cashman, the man who dealt Jesus.

Yesterday, Cashman conducted one of those party line chats, where he opines on everything but the Iraq War. In it, he all but vowed to make a deal between now and the July 31 trade deadline. He is looking for that front-line pitcher, and this week, his bartering tongue grew three inches. Last night's sweep of Toronto - (Those big bad Jays suddenly don't look so tough, eh?) - and Baltimore's loss of Matt Weiters, clearly boosted Yankee hope through the roof. Moreover, it looks increasingly as if Boston could climb back into the race, adding to Yankee emotional needs. This is, after all, Jeter's final run. We blew it with Mariano. This time, we'll need more than Alfonso Soriano or Xavier Nady. 

In the Yankee dark ages of the 1980s - the great 14-year barf - George Steinbrenner could trade prospects without immediate criticism, because hardly anyone followed them. The writers simply gummed their cud about how much Rick Rhoden or Ken Phelps would add to the team. Only the few fans who subscribed to Baseball America ever heard of a McGriff or a McGee. Today, that has changed. Yankee fans are tightly clued into the events in Charleston and Trenton. Two nights ago, I talked with a Yankee fan, and the first thing he asked was, "Why do you think the Yankees benched Gary Sanchez?" In the days of Gabe Paul, that conversation would never have happened.

It's time for the Yankiverse to have a new conversation: Is Aaron Judge our future, or is he trade fodder? I honestly don't know. But I know this: Aaron is the new Jesus. And Judgement Day, July 31, is not far away. You can see it from here.


Alphonso said...

We can only hope that Sanchez was benched to "keep him healthy" for a trade.

This guy is a uni bomber in training, mentally. Only not as intelligent. And, his first language is spanish.

Seriously, this guy has a long history of mental, 'flare ups," and I don't think we want to keep him.

Who remembers Jimmy Piersall?

John M said...

The rumors are flying that we're going to make a play for David Price. I'm not sure what we'd give up for him. Sanchez or Murphy or Cervelli, for sure. Maybe Beltran's sudden power surge is a message delivered for Cashman. (A guy can dream.)

Tanaka and Price leading the rotation sounds very tempting, but I can't see what we'd have that the Rays would want. How about a list, Duque?

(Alphonso...ah, yes, Jimmy Piersall, a tortured, psychologically afflicted player, famously played in the film by Anthony Perkins, a tortured, psychologically afflicted actor. Hollywood has such a sense of humor.)

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't touch Price with a ten foot pole. He's had a sub-par year and his velocity is down nearly 4 mph on his FB.

No, no - if I'm trading Sanchez, Judge and a decent pitching prospect or two - I want them LEAVING the AL East.

I'm targeting (in order):

Jeff Smardjzjogtrxbjrsgfa from the Cubs

Big Game James Shields from KC

Or, a bigger package for Lee and Utley ...

John M said...

I think you have to go with anyone named Jeff Smardjzjogtrxbjrsgfa.

Mr. Mxyzptlk said...

I agree, Samardzija would be a super addition to the Yankees.

Joe Btfsplk said...

There would be reason to cheer in the Bronx if we signed Samardzija but I have a bad feeling he would arrive with arm problems.