Friday, June 20, 2014

Ripley's 2014 Almost Mid-Season Believe It Or Nots

The Yankees have one and only one player in the top 40 WARs of the AL. 
That man is Brett Gardner, with a WAR of 2.2.

Coincidentally, that is exactly the WAR of his former teammate, Robinson Cano!

While the American League BA top 40 boasts the eye-confounding names 
Yangveris Solarte, Xander Bogaerts, and Yoenis Cespedes...

...the "Senior Circuit" has only ADEINY HECHAVARRIA! 

(Troy Tulowitzki, who leads the NL in batting, is the only obviously 
Polish-American player on either list!)

The Yankees wouldn't re-sign AL batting leader Robbie Cano,
but had no problem with questionable, expensive, multi-year deals for 
Carlos Beltran, Brian McCann, and Jacoby Ellsbury.

While the New York Mets are paying fat, 41-year-old convicted cheater and 
(when unjuiced) mediocrity Bartolo Colon a cool 9 MILLION SIMOLEONS!

The Cashman-Steinbrenner Axis of Evil-Empire-Building was more than willing to acquire aging, over-the-hill players like Carlos Beltran, Brian Roberts, Matt Thornton, and Alfonso Soriano...



Anonymous said...

What, John M., is the point you are trying to make here?

Are you saying that instead of filling the holes at C, OF, SP and so on, we should have locked up the Jogger for 10 years?

Once again, I'm confused by your logic...

Blind Robin said...

John M. could you please tell Animus you are sorry you stole his girlfriend in junior high and get this behind us.

Anonymous said...

Dear John M.,

'Aging, over-the-hill players like Carlos Beltran...'

Did you see what I just did? Do you know I'm hitting over .300 since coming off the DL?

I earned my pinstripes today. Duque, Sherman, Axisa and such will write those words about me tomorrow.

Thank you though, for your continuous insight into professional baseball.

Carl B.
Bronx, NY

Anonymous said...

It wasn't me. I'm observing the trade deadline. But oh, so tempting.

Anonymous said...

You are a better man than me, Anonymous #1

But, I couldn't help myself.

Carlos Beltran Fan Club: Local Chapter, for those who wish to remain Anonymous said...

We at the Breakfast Club Anonymous have been preaching the glory of Carl B for the ENTIRE season, why he's nothing short than the savior of 2014.

Glad to see everyone's finally on board.

Weee told you sooooo.

Anonymous #9 said...

Actually, El Duque will write

"That Beltan is also hitting around .220 raises a touchy question: Would everyone have been better served if Beltan three weeks ago had chosen surgery, instead of hitting through the injury? He would have missed two months, returning in August. It's hard to say what was right. But currently, we have the worst of everything: He's not hitting, and he can't play the field - that sublime rarity... both an offensive and defensive liability. Yowzer."

Wrong again, Anonymous.