Monday, June 16, 2014

Where have you been all this time: Scientists on the verge of discovering juju

Get this: Big brains in quantum mechanics have finally figured out what we in the fan base call "Rizzutons," particles of eternal innocence and simplicity that are somehow transmitted from our couches into the TV set - and then, via cosmic wormholes, for hundreds or thousands of miles - to help Derek Jeter get a base hit.

If you think it can't happen, well, Smartypants, maybe you just don't know nuthin'.  Maybe you ought to think about quantum tunneling.

Quantum tunneling is the effect of quantum particles moving through an energy state considered impossible in the context of what are considered classical mechanics.
Under classical physics theory, objects can only move from one place to another if they possess sufficient energy for the shift. For example, a ball arriving slowly at the base of a hill may have insufficient velocity to roll over the hill without some energy given to it from an external source.
However, quantum particles don't behave like a classical object; they don't have a fixed location in space until a measurement of them is made. Until then, they have the attribute of existing in every possible location, so could suddenly be on the opposite side of the hill without requiring an external nudge. 

Eat that, doubters. The rest of you, stay sharp. We may soon call another juju intervention - and even abort it, moments before the game. (As in what happened the last time: A four-game winning streak.)


John M said...

I'm still down about Tony Gwynn.

On the flip side, I never watched a soccer match all the way through like I did last night when we beat Ghana. That was intense. Crazy good.

Maybe these furriners have got something there. And it was nice to root for a team that won, and in dramatic, heroic fashion.

In contrast, I find myself watching the Yankees in 3-minute snippets during commercial breaks in what we're watching on another channel. That's about all we can take this year.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Listening to the Yankees with John and Suzyn somehow lightens the endless bummer that is this uninspiring 2014 team. It's like hanging out in a Winnebago, with my crazy aunt and uncle, with a ballgame on the telly in the background, LOL!!!!!!

ceeja said...

I've had mixed feelings about Sterling. But the problem isn't that he is a homer. He will acknowledge good plays by the other team and will not take cheap shots (though he does get whiney and petty at times). If you want to hear real obnoxious homer-ism, listen to a Chicago White Sox broadcast.

The problem I have with Sterling is that he's too locked into his won schtick. Why do the call on every home run? Why not vary it? Why not just have some fun with it. Also, he tends to get too frustrated adn petty, and does not exude the warm-heartedness of Rizzuto, Barber, Harwell, Gowdy.

But heck, he's still pretty good in my book and I will keep listening to him.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Did you all see where the quantum tunneling research is being done? Maybe I will volunteer for the project. Perhaps it will be my Juju which actually proves its existence (hey - I did get you through four games last week...)