FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Monday, June 20, 2016

Projecting next year's titans of tedium, if nothing happens

Moving forward, the Yankees face perilous two routes through the Bermuda Triangle of Hal Steinbrenner's firmly locked fanny purse.

1) They fall apart next month and trash their roster at the trade deadline - jettison Beltran, El Chapo and the cast of Glee for a player or two that might someday save this sorry franchise's soul.

2. They continue to slog, pursuing the 2016 Wild Card away game birth like a golden retriever chasing a garbage truck. Thus, they serve us more YES-warmed-over mush in 2018. The moral: When you own your own media, you really don't have to worry about success. (Didn't the fall of the U.S.S.R. teach us anything?)

So what happens if the Yankees - as we all fear - win a few more than they lose, thus "contend" for the "post-season" into late August before crumbling to injuries and age? Next winter, Cashman will work a trade or two that is hailed by the p.r. team, but which eventually evolves into a John Ryan Murphy for Aaron Hicks air ball. Well, here's our lineup:

1b Greg Bird - returning from a lost year and surgery, is he real or Kevin Maas?
2b Starlin Castro - serviceable, unless wears out welcome, as in Chicago.
ss Didi Gregorious - our best player, unfortunately compared to Bogaerts
3b Chase Headley - two more years of meh
c Brian McCann - two more years of meh, Gary Sanchez just sits?
lf Brett Gardner - two more years meh, can anything be worse?
cf Jacoby Ellsbury - FOUR more years, MEH!
rf Aaron Judge - up from Scranton, hopefully with fewer Ks
dh Alex Rodriguez - his final season, even slower than now

Once again: No place for Rob Refsnyder and bubble-wrapped discussion of the rising talent in the low-low minors. (Haven't we always heard about rising talent in the low-low minors?)

Rotation: CC (final season), Tanaka (opt-out clause at end of 2017), Pineda and Eovaldi (final years of contracts) and somebody from somewhere. All spring, the Yankees congratulated themselves for drafting James Kaprielian last June; he promptly tweaked an elbow (I bet you thought I was going to say "gonad?")

Bullpen: Betances, Miller and the seven dwarfs. El Chapo will sign a long-term deal with somebody.

The free agent class is a pack of dogs. After Judge - with the jury on him still out - Scranton doesn't offer much help. The 2017 Yankees would probably sit around .500 and - with luck - chase the Wild Card away birth.

So tell me... what's the game plan here? We just slog onward, lose to solid teams and beat up on the tomato cans, roil the fan base into August and then go home? That's the new Yankee tradition? Worse, will Hal run out and sign two or three more Ellsbury/McCann/Beltrans, just extending us on this wretched path?

4 comments:

Alphonso said...

The gameplay is MEH.

If Hal is still active. If B. Cashman remains our GM. If Girardi fails to retire or do something meaningful with his life,

If A-Rod and other " mission creep" players insist on playing out their egregious contracts ( who wouldn't, unless bought off ?).

If any or all of the above holds true, MEH and more MEH.

No reason whatsoever for fan interest.

No hope to compete.

Luckily, the NBA and NHL finals, next season , will extend well into July. Maybe August.

MEH.

joe de pastry said...

The only way to change their game plan is stop buying tickets to their games.
If you're a Neilsen "family" don't watch their games.
I don't watch much anymore because they are so boring, but that doesn't show up in the ratings.

steve said...

as I feared, we're winning just enough games to make the brass think we have a chance, so we'll finish the season with Chapman and Beltran on the roster with nothing to show for it. then again, i could see them trading Chapman regardless, since we still have Miller and Betances

Anonymous said...

THE HORRIFYING PART I KEEP READING IS HOW TEAMS ARE LINING UP TO GET ANDREW MILLER....OUR BEST PLAYER......TRUSTING CASHMAN IN ANY DEAL IS LIKE WALKING ON A HIGH WIRE WITH NO NET, AND YOUR LAST NAME ISN'T WALLENDA.