Tuesday, April 9, 2019

I think we should assume....


1.  That Severino will need an extended rest, followed by failure, followed by surgery, followed
 by 1-2 years of more extended rest.

2.  That Hicks is done.

3.  That Andujar will "dick around" trying to avoid surgery, play and fail, and have the procedure.     
Gone for the season...maybe more.

4.  That neither Bird nor Voit will hit much over 200.

5.  That Sanchez will not be hitting big homers against quality pitching.

6.  That the Yankees have the worst hitting and pitching coaches in the league, and are planning to do nothing about it.

7.  That Jordan Montgomery will appear in September, and throw about 70 mph.

8.  That Gardy will burn out, due to effort and too much playing timer in CF.

9,  That Stanton will remain a bum, who kills rallies by striking out and hitting the ball into double plays.

10.  That Judge will be "pitched around" all season, recording an outlandish number of walks.

11.  That Tulo is already done and Didi will have a wasted year, even if he returns this season.

12.  That Mike Tauchman ( is that his name ?) will remain all season, and hit about .185 with no power.

13.  That Tyler Wade will establish himself as " great glove, no bat."

14.  That Cashman will win GM of the year, despite ruining the farm system and trading away prospects for no names.

15.  That Clint Frazier will surprise us or fail.

16.  That we won't be playing after the regular season ends.




42 comments:

I'm Bill White said...

If the club were an Italian restaurant, we'd all have gotten painful diarrhea and found another place to eat a long time ago.

13bit said...

I cannot disagree with any of your thoughtful assumptions, Alphonso.

And Bill White, thank you. Now, I must get on the bathroom line. Please leave a roll outside the door.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I'm now watching Sox-BlowJobs on ESPN. Billy McKinney (remember him?) just got HBP.

MLB.com has his 2019 stats as 29 ABs, 1 RBI, no HRs, and .172 BA (.294 OBP).

. . . the one that got away?

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


OH, yeah -- forgot. Chris Sale's line today (home opener in Fenway) -- 4 inning, 7 hits, 3 Strike-outs......5 earned runs. Season ERA: 9

When did you say NYYs are playing the Tampa Bay Devils?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Joe FOB, you raise an interesting point: the guys Cashman trades away of late ALSO seem to screw-up.

Right now, Brandon Drury, after a very nice spring, is hitting .200 and leading the AL in strikeouts with 17. He has 1 walk. Austin has already been traded on to SF. Kapriellian is still on the DL, or maybe in a retirement home. Jorge Mateo is off to a good start—in Las Vegas. Sonny Gray is 0-2 (although with a 2.89 ERA)

About the only tradee showing signs of life is the Unsinkable Dustin Fowler.

So what's the deal?

Why IS it that all these young Yankees, at every level, had such great seasons in 2017? What happened?

Sunspots? More of the usual joy juice?

Or did some terrific instructor or set of instructors leave the system after that year? And if so, where are they? And how can we get them back?

Inquiring minds want to know!

JM said...

Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I'm not so sure about that.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I think he may well surprise us.
Yes.

JM said...

I will say that Sevvy was truly an ace for 3 months. Not many guys can say that.

JM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JM said...

On the other hand, he is the only pitcher to end his career due to pitch tipping.

Kind of like Howard Bea

JM said...

le.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Last night sucked btw. Fuck the Yankees... or Ristorante Yankichio Nouvoulari Yorkie... whatever you think of them as. Sausage ingredients.

TheWinWarblist said...

Now we're bunting in a tied game in the top of the third with no one out. Genius. In the school of Cashman. Nay, the Church of Cashy. All praise to the Great Frugal Lord and All-Father Hal, may his hemorrhoids burst and his bowels gush out.

JM said...

Gardy. Jesus.

Don't mind them, Rock, they're retarded.

TheWinWarblist said...

JM, Paolo Bea makes incredible wine. If your ever in Veneto.

JM said...

I'll note that.

Altuve is the most irritating little motherfucker since Pedroia.

TheWinWarblist said...

Or if know a good Italian wine merchant.

TheWinWarblist said...

May the All-Father Hal's hemorrhoids burst and His bowels gush out upon Altuve and wash away that annoying little cowfucker.

TheWinWarblist said...

After the pitcher walks the first two batter in an inning, do you A) swing at the first pitch and rap into a weak force out, or B) just punch yourself in the nuts over and over until you end up on the IL and/or the bus to Scranton?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I had ESPN on. They did everything they could to ignore this baseball game. I survived one inning of them asking some guy about his podcast before retreating to my radio.

13bit said...

I'll go for B, just because punching yourself in the nuts is what everybody on that Scranton-bound bus is doing. Might as well blend in.

As for "being an ace for three months," it may be true that it's a rare thing. Let's also think about Joba "I'm Sandy Koufax for two months" Chamberlin. Another sad story. Do we talk about him now? No. Sustained excellence makes an ace. I dated an actual fashion model and beauty queen for a few months, back in the 90s, before I became decrepit and stopped caring. Does that make me a stud? I think not. Only sustained excellence, my friends. Long, hard, relentless, violent sustained excellence...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Ah, sustained excellence! The most fleeting of sporting accomplishments. Why I used to love these New York Yankees.

Mr. Gardner needs to retire.

TheWinWarblist said...

It makes you a stud in my book, my dear sweet tiny-craniumed Bitty.

TheWinWarblist said...

The models I've been with were generally not worth their measure of nuttiness.

JM said...

Bit, I am impressed.

13bit said...

I was a shlump who got lucky for a while.

JM said...

I like it.

Btw, do you think Altuve is very friendly with the Roberto Alomar crowd? Not that there's snyanyth wrong with that.

JM said...

Our bullpen blows. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

TheWinWarblist said...

One of the fitness models was on house arrest for wrecking their ex's car. That was fun. Thighs that were carved out of marble and I always knew where to find them.

On an unrelated note, please leave Chad Green in a little longer.

TheWinWarblist said...

Please, no gay slurs. We are New Yorkers. We are better than that.

Leinstery said...

Chad Green hasn't been good since that fiasco against the Indians.

Joe of AZ said...

What the fuck man....someone has got some splaining to do.... Management tryna sell us on some "championship caliber" bullshit.. more like Comedy caliber Boone-fuckery..

We got lat strains...shoulders,hammies and k's oh my ..

Clean fucking house starting with Cashman....let Bernie, or Beltran run this team....Williams that is...

Carl J. Weitz said...

Astros are great at fundamentals like running, playing hit and run, stealing bases, etc. Over the last decade we have been piss poor. We can't steal bases or run the bases the way even Little Leaguers learn by ten, know which base to throw to from the outfield or when we do, there are 3 players at the same base trying to catch the ball and tag out the runner. How often do we hit-and-run or try to sacrifice? Every year it seems like we play baseball like the Keystone Kops. Why is it that so many of our young starters with great stuff don't know how to "pitch" even after three or four years on the team? I don't know how the coaches both at this level or in the minors keep their jobs.

Yes Leinstery, Chad Green took a step back last year and so far this year is a weak link in the bullpen once again. Not that they have snuffed out many rallies as a group in the first dozen games.

Leinstery said...

For the better part of the this decade this team has been built on a philosophy of "Homeruns + Bullpen and everything else be damned." Godawful defense, base running, starting pitching, situational hitting, just the general ability to put the bat on the ball - you name it. If it isn't homeruns or bullpenn they don't care to address it. And when those two things don't come through it's a guaranteed loss.

Oh but they'll pretend that they're on the cutting edge with the things that matter, like launch angle. As for the pitchers, I find it humorous that Rothschild is the pitching coach, as the Rothschild family is a general boogieman of conspiracy theorists. Thus the only conclusion is that he is actively sabotaging them.

Anonymous said...

ALMOST AN INSTANT REPLAY OF LAST NIGHT'S AGGRAVATION.

GAME ENDS WITH ME YELLING OUT....

"THIS TEAM IS UNDISCIPLINED!"

PLAYERS GETTING PICKED OFF, PLAYERS NOT COVERING THEIR BASE, RUNNERS NOT RUNNING OUT BUNTS, PITCHER'S NOT COVERING FIRST....

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?

HEY BOONIE!

....ARE WE GOING TO TRY TO CORRECT THINGS?

THIS IS EMBARRASSING!

ranger_lp said...

Carl...one of the tenets of the great Yankee teams of the 90s and 00s was how we never beat ourselves. This team, presently constructed, is nowhere close to that.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I've been screaming about this for years, Carl. And really, it would be one of the cheapest and easiest things to fix: better coaches and instructors! (And, obviously, better trainers!)

HoraceClarke66 said...

Leinstery, exactly! This speaks to the heart of the Moneyball Sabermetriciousness.

For several years, the Oakland A's built a pretty good team around:

—Terrific starting pitchers.

—Steroids.

Sure, discovering how important getting on base is helps, but basically Billy Beane sold everybody a load of goods that this was all his genius.

"Fundamentals don't matter! Running and fielding don't matter! There's no such thing as clutch!"

Then, every year, the A's would lose early on in the playoffs by making egregious, fundamental mistakes, and running and fielding blunders. In the clutch.

Brian Cashman took on this model because, of course, it's all about the GM! It was another way to make him the center of the universe!

Call mme when Coops or Billy Beane wins a ring with a team they've built themselves. You can even reverse the charges.

JM said...

Yep. This team is plain lousy at baseball. I feel sorry for Judge, having to put up with these clowns.

Warblist, I apologize for the gay slur. It wasn't meant that way, I just have a strange sense of humor, as my wife will attest. It was a spoof on a joke on an attitude.

If I wasn't just a little crazy, I wouldn't be watching.

TheWinWarblist said...

No worries JM. It seemed like the thread was about to veer off into an ugly place. And truly, is that not the role that Buck's Puckered Hemorrhoids fills?

Anonymous said...

I missed the slur. What was it?

TheWinWarblist said...

No slur. Not really. More like outing someone. That's not cool.

Anonymous said...

Hey Warblist--you equate another human being with a hemorrhoid and then summon the cojones to issue pious sermons about slurs and invective? You're as emotionally warped and diseased a human being as Trump, only sicker, because your rot is private rather than public, an inner torment that corrodes your sanity and decency behind your veil of suburban rectitude and Babbitry, the whole panoply of your third-rate mediocre failed pretense of a medical career. So your only refuge is affecting an air of pontifical grandiosity on a fourth-rate blog read by a dozen fellow philistines and miscreants while making an ass of yourself with your compulsively repeated biblical locutions and warbling gibberish--which, I suppose, offers you the cold comfort of feeling like one of the "guys" when internally you know that you're just a terrified, bewildered, desperate little girly man. You do not harbor a disease. You are a disease, a walking disfigurement, with death your only deliverance.