Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Why we fight: The eternal battle against Boston's Army of the Dead resumes tonight

Tonight, we once again battle the big-spending, hate-filled, deep-state Redsocks - a franchise steeped in racism and violence, which for decades preferred to blame its defeats on a supernatural, anti-God, anti-America "curse," rather than its own failed policies.

These are horrible, wretched, human beings, the absolute worst, whose treasonous attempts to hurt the Yankees are an attack upon America. These monsters in human form should be investigated by MLB and made examples of, by spending the rest of their lives in prison, where they can't do any more damage. They are enemies of the people, and the mere wearing of their illegal "B" caps in public represents a breakdown of basic morality and an affront to our democracy.

Did I mention that they are liars, and anything they say - such as denying the above words - proves everything I'm saying is right! Trouble is, the Boston-leaning announcers on YES never give the Yankees a break. Did you know that the traitorous David Cone, at the end of his career, sold out and pitched for Boston? 

Tonight, as we take up arms against this red tide of human scum, we must show them that we have not forgotten their evil history.

Red Sox complicity in U.S. torture flights

They fed their own fans prison food

They're bigger racists than Joe Torre ever was

Their groundskeepers are thugs

Varitek clawed A-Rod's face, kept his own mask on

Schilling poured ketchup on his sock, called it blood

They decapitate their players when they're done with them

Big Papi had it in for Joba for no reason

They tried to freeze-out John and Suzyn.

They can't lose a game without whining about something.

Damn them. Demand that the pro-Redsock YES announcers give the Yankees a fair break! Tonight, we fight.


Parson Tom said...

As Yankee mismanagement sucks the joy out of our team, it is our burning hatred of the Beaneaters that keeps me coming back for more baseball. We are in a dark place now under the Red Sox hegemony, but we must rise up and let them know -- yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever -- that Boston Sucks.

Yankee Daddy Roger said...

In the dark night of our despair, we must not lose sight of our mission. Our Front Office fails to reinforce our troops, and doles out rancid rations to its fan base. Marat we're poor, and the poor stay poor. Four years after the Bastille fell, we still recall the old battle yell: "Down with all of the ruling class? Throw all the generals out on their ass!"

Why do they have the gold
Why do they have the power why why why why why
Do they have the friends at the top

Why do they have the jobs at the top

We've got nothing always had nothing
Nothing but holes and millions of them
Living in holes
Dying in holes
Holes in our bellies and
Holes in our clothes

Marat we're poor
And the poor stay poor
Marat don't make us wait any more
We want our rights and we don't care how
We want a revolution

They have built the Bronx Bastille with the blood, sweat and tears of its fandom. It is time to storm its ramparts and -- oh sorry, got a bit carried away there.

Scottish Yankee fan said...

Mike Ford called up at last I can stop moaning about it

Anonymous said...

Boston Sucks!
The Boston Red Sox Suck!
The Boston Celtics Suck!
The Boston Bruins Suck!
The Boston Patriots Sucked! I don't know what happened to the franchise. Nothing good I'll bet.
The MISL Boston Lobsters Sucked!
The song "Please Come To Boston" sucks.
The rock band Boston sucks!
and last but not least
The alcohol brand Mr. Boston sucks! Seriously. Is there a worse brand of liqueur?

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

By the way. The Yankee IL could field a pretty good team.

Greg Bird (foot) 1B
Troy Tulowitzki (calf)2B
Didi Gregorius (Tommy John surgery)SS
Miguel Andujar (shoulder)3B
Giancarlo Stanton (biceps)RF
Aaron Hicks (back) CF
Jacoby Ellsbury (hip surgery)LF
Gary Sanchez (calf) C
There's no DH but the day is young.

Luis Severino (shoulder) SP
Jordan Montgomery (Tommy John surgery)Long Man
Ben Heller (Tommy John surgery) Set up
Dellin Betances (shoulder) Closer.

That's just INSANE!

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

You guys are en fuego tonight, as should be the case.

Doug K., a great list. Also, there was an earlier, "Boston Lobsters," World Team Tennis squad. Which the champion New York Apples used to thrash back in the day. And don't forget the old, NASL Boston Minutemen, later the Boston Tea Men.

I don't care if it did refer to the Boston Tea Party—they only made the change because they were bought by Lipton Tea.

Which should bring another charge: Boston started the grotesque branding of professional sports teams, which led DIRECTLY to the existence of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks.

(All right, there were the old Brooklyn Tip Tops in the Federal League, named for the Tip Top Bakery which owned the club. And a couple dozen other examples in the old NFL. But you get my point!)

HoraceClarke66 said...

And Yankee Roger Daddy, a "Marat/Sade" reference! Wonderful! That's why I write for this blog.

I would add a solemn "J'accuse!" And a take on Sondheim's "Sweeney Todd" number:

"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth what a pig can spit
And it goes by the name of Boston...
At the top of the hole sit a privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo
Turning beauty to filth and greed...

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
And it goes by the name of Boston..."

Actually it's not a bad little city. But still!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And glad to have you back, Scotland.

By the by, did you see the new version of "Mary, Queen of Scots" this year?

What a piece of garbage! Bad drama, and it bore about as much resemblance to 16th-17th century Scotland/England as, well, The Ace, James Paxton does to Andy Pettitte.

Anonymous said...


Yes! The Lobsters were a tennis team. That makes sense. I was looking at the name after I wrote it and knew it was a real team but the name seemed stupid for a soccer team. But you know, deadlines and all so off to the publisher it went.

Nice poems. Here's one from me.

Lobsters are Red.
So are the Socks.
Greg Bird's in bed.
Boston still sucks.

Doug K.

Mustang said...

The Redsocks hate us because we love freedom.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

Here is why life is worth living:

Top of the 8th, 2 outs, Mookie Betts at bat. The count goes to 3-2, and the chant starts:


And the bastard popped up.

A magic moment.

Scottish Yankee fan said...

Good to be back Horace

Even better to beat those dumpling Red Sox

All I need now is Mike Ford to hit a home run and I will be a happy

Mary Queen of Scots film was utter mince.