Monday, May 18, 2009

Sterling Attacked

First, they went after Rush.

Then they tried to tear down Glenn and Bill... and even Miss California!

They wouldn't even let Mike Savage into England.

Now, the rabid, left-leaning, blame-America-first, latte-laptop pantywaists want to silence the last voice of truth in Mr. Soros' America: John Sterling.

Oh, yes, my friends, 'tis the time to gather bullets. 'Tis the time to chase the sweet scent of mace, to sling kegs of Tetley into the nearest harbor, to set aflame paper bags of vomit on the front steps of the trickling hordes -- yes, time to act -- or watch the family values of our once great planet devolve into the bullpen of the Colorado Rockies!

They want to silence the Voice of the Yankees... driven by Jeep.

Oh, yes, my friends, the hammer of God asteroid is plunging our way, and the only question is whether there's a Bruce Willis among us who had the foresight to sneak a nuke on his holstered hip.

Today, the troglodite chorus bubbles up from the Bearded Bleater, Phil Mushnick, who finally tears off his NY cap disguise to reveal the Hammer and Cycle, the 666, the Mark of the Beast, that has lurked secretly on his iron skull since the day he was yanked bleating from the Satanic hellfire of his mother's womb.

He claims Yankee fans deserve better than Sterling... the official Voice of the Yankees, driven by Jeep.

Ohh, yes, we know his kind, thankyouverymuch:

They won't be happy until Yankee games are being called by Curt Schilling and his ketchup-pouring sidekick George Mitchell. They won't be happy until a game-ending Yankee win warble runs less than 2 seconds in duration, and "an A-bomb from A-Rod!" is referred to as "a run unit to be added, in case you're scoring at home."

Ohhh, I can hear Mushnick's Redsock Nation masters chuckling. Tokyo Rose didn't invoke such smiles among her manipulators.

Take to the streets! Storm the prisons! Overturn school buses! Set fire to fire stations! This must not stand! We shall not let our voices be censored. We shall not let freedom die. Not on our watch.

Remember: It is high, it is far, it is... freedom.

12 comments:

Whitey Fraud said...

First of all, this isn't a liberal attack. Musnick is a right wing douchebag writing for the Murdoch Post, a wingnut rag.

Second, why give them double the page-views by linking to the 2-part version of this screed?

Here's the whole story on a single page.

Let's keep their page-views down gaddammit!

BernBabyBern said...

He figured you'd think the whole thing was too long to read, Whitey, so he linked to the one with less text so you could use it as a summary of sorts.

MattG said...

Thank you so much for having this blog. I don't know how I lived my life fully before discovering this.

That being said, if we could replace Suzy with a half-competent color-commentator who could even do some play-by-play, imagine how much energy the Voice would have left for his win warbles... he could even reach the unthinkable 9.0!

Whitey Fraud said...

Thanks B3. I'm so proud. There's hope for you yet.

Audrey said...

Doesn't Musnick have a many eating plant in his store?

Audrey II said...

Doesn't Musnick have a man eating plant in his store?

She-Fan said...

He'd better leave my John alone. So what if he gets everything wrong. He's ours!

Mike said...

Yes, how dare he suggest we deserve a play-by-play man who watches the game? Or recognizes that he himself is not bigger than the game he's supposed to be covering? The nerve!

Anonymous said...

This town deserves better writers.

Anonymous said...

One of the saddest things about Remy being out sick in Boston is having to listen to a) Don actually bothering to call the plays all the darn time and b) listening to color guys who are lots, lots worse than Jerry. Eck, for instance, is very pretty, but somebody needs to tell him you can't see him in the box, and he should shut up once in a while. Hang on to John while you've got him, guys.
D&R

testanator said...

Congrats on the River Ave Blues linkage..

unanimous said...

Dewayne Staats? Ken Harrelson?

No thanks,