It's time we had a talk about Aroldis Chapman, because something is dreadfully wrong

Sadly, this we know: 

There is no realistic path to a 2021 Yankee world championship with Aroldis Chapman as closer. 

Nope. Ainta gonna happen. You might as well believe in leprechauns, or QAnons.

Listen: I'm not here to demean El Chapo. The evil that men do lives long after them; the good is oft interred with their ERAs. Chapman can help the '21 Yankees, maybe even play a pivotal role. But if the Yankees think they can ride him through an October - they've ingested too many edibles. We'll see the same finale as in the last two seasons - another walk-off meltdown. 

At this point in his career - pushing 34 - Aroldis has become a nightly roll of the dice, a waterfall hallucination, capable of imploding at any moment. No lead is safe, and a one-run lead looks especially dire. Going forth, Aaron Boone's rules for engaging Chapman should go this way:

When he goes 3-0 on a batter, start warming his replacement.

If he's not showing 100 mph velocity with control - regardless of how he's doing - start warming someone. 

If a runner reaches base - regardless of the reason - take him out.

Once the sweat droplets start rolling off his cap like a quart jug of Mountain Dew, take him out. 

Throughout his career, El Chapo has been a dominating, fearsome presence, a powerhouse on the mound. Right now, he's a giant inflatable, holding up a porcupine. On any given night, he might look superhuman - or go poof. And he won't correct everything in time to win a world series. 

Last night, we learned our other former all-star closer, Zack Britton, is likely done for the year. With trade restrictions choking the waiver wire, the Yankees must promote someone from within to pitch the ninth. 

We have two de facto closers - Jonathan Loaisiga and Mean Chad Green. Both have struggled, including some absolutely disastrous losses that, at the times, seemed to define the '21 Yankees. Last night, Wandy Peralta came through, surviving an incredible pressure cooker. But whatever it's worth, I lean toward the most interesting player on the Yankees - of course... Nasty Nestor. 

Though it would hurt to drop him from the rotation, here's why Nestor Octavio-Cortez can close. (And for whatever it's worth, if El Chapo doesn't like being demoted, "Tough titty" said the kitty with the milk so warm.) 

1. Throughout his career, Nestor has been a reliever. He's used to getting entering games on short notice. 

2. He's actually a better reliever than starter. In eight relief appearances this year, opposing batters are hitting only .197 against him. His 2.29 ERA in relief beats his 2.70 as a starter.

3. Nestor gets the leadoff batter. This year, the first batters he face are hitting a meager .143 against him. In his first inning, they are hitting .192 - an on base percentage of .222. He's not one of those pitchers who doesn't figure out his stuff until the fourth inning.

4. Nestor's problem this season has been the third time around in a batting order, when hitters are .342 against him. As closer, he never has to deal with this.

5. Can you imagine batters - after facing Cole, Green, Loasiga and maybe even El Chapo, fireballer after fireballer - and then, in comes this ballsy, kewpie doll slinging frisbees.

One other possibility, in a Disney fantasy sort of way: Could Luis Severino return to resume the one-inning role that began his career? Don't hold your breath. But seriously, folks, we need a unicorn. And it's time for a ninth inning intervention.

NOTE TO READERS: BEGINNING TONIGHT, I WILL BE DOING MY (FORMERLY ANNUAL, WE DIDN'T DO IT LAST YEAR BECAUSE OF COVID) DRUNK YANKEE BLOG.

 I WILL BE IMBIBING WITH OLD FRIENDS, INCLUDING REDSOCK FANS, THROUGH SUNDAY. POSTS WILL BE SPORADIC AND PERHAPS NOT AS COGENT AND LIFE-FULFILLING AS USUAL. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.