Today's defensive alignment is sponsored by Black Bear premium franks and sausages, available exclusively at ShopRite.
Spring training MRIs are like the spring training instant replay. You know nothing is wrong, but you call for one anyway just to make sure the system is working. Jacoby is fine!
Love the Drudge thingy. Drudge is the virtual Walter Winchell, minus the Stork Club.This other Anonymous appears to be some combination of orthopedic surgeon and psychic and personal friend of "Jacoby"--so of course he can offer us definitve reassurance.
If the Anonymous with the obvious hangup for John M. has a sister anything like him, I'd love to meet her.If That Anonymous (my new li'l lover TA) is in fact a chick and just playing coy and being snotty for kicks, I gotta say I dig her insistence and admit her work makes me laugh enough to buy her a root beer sometime. Or a scotch, depending upon her proclivity.Big words. Big chick, maybe. If so, call me caught in TA's snare, hoping the best (the best being a little past where I don't have to fight John M. for your heart).Whip me, grate me, please me. The Blender Children did it! Hey TA! I'm talking to you! We need to do it, and scream BRIAN ROBERTS AINT THE ONE at each other! Unless youo want me to feed you a cupcake every time you say FUCK CANO! My point is, we can work this out...
Ivan: I saw her first.
Ivan Alexeev--the beads of sweat are showing on your philtrum and your forehead. YUCK! You need to calm down. Everybody thinks you're just BRILLIANT. Everyone loves and respects you. Feel better now?
The 'Anonymous with the obvious hangup for John M' is most definitely a lady, and a damn quick witted one at that. And yes KD, you may have seen her first, but Ivan has genuinely professed his intentions to court and woo, so give a brother some breathing room,,, she seems to warming up to the idea.
Still sweating like a hog to impress the dozen or so shut-in nerds who read these comments. Oh, the humanity!hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I definitely feel better, but KD saw you first and where I come from, that's akin to dibs. And you don't mess with dibs, even retroactive ones.Thanks for the support, though, Philtrum H! I feel the...something...not sure what. Anonymous, what's the word I'm looking for here?And John M.: HEY TO THE HA, MY MAN!
An imbecile and his sock poppet in earnest conversation for the benefit of three other imbeciles.Meanwhile, none of the imbeciles is capable of making a compelling or original point about baseball--only about, by indirection, inner lives so parched that they are compelled to seek self-validation in posturing in a virtual echo chamber--a hell of their own devising.Surely we are in the last days.These comment columns are coming to resemble a Diane Arbus photo. No wonder she killed herself.
Pull down your pants and slide on the ice, Anonymous!
I concur, Mr. Friedman!But Anonymous...you have some work ahead of you here...we'll take it slow; it's okay...we're only here to talk...I just notice that you seem to long for a compelling and original point about baseball...I love baseball myself; played a little as a kid; set a record for errors...but I love baseball, too...and I know what you mean about compelling points...those can be few and far between sometimes...but the "original" part of what you said has me wondering...I look for that too...I think we're looking for the same thing...we're on the same side...so just close your eyes and tell me about original points...just you and me...just talk a little baseball to me...just tell me what you're thinking when you're thinking about original points in baseball...
Hey to the ha.Can't top that for sheer desperate gallumphing buffoonery. I just have to cede the field to you after that.My work is done here. You can post your brilliant retorts all night, but no one will be reading or responding--except you and your dirty underwear and your desperate longing for a hey to the ha.Ta-ta, loser.
Nonny Loves Johnny! Nonny loves Johnny!
Congrats on your "sheer desperate gallumphing buffoonery" response to "hey to the ha". You have me beat. After all, why use ten letters when 35 will do?I could talk all night and day about the wonders that are you but since you love John M and KD had dibs, why the hell would I? And yeah; no one is reading and responding either ...Unless you consider this one of my non-brilliant posts, in which case I expect your eyes are glued to the screen in anticipation of a little more. I got that FUCK CANO! cupcake all ready for you and you know you want it, you know you can't resist it. You keep showing up here for a reason, and it ain't an over-fulfilled life. I'll pass the pastry on to John or KD if it has to be that way; I understand that love is love and I never stand in the way of it. I only ask that you consider your options wisely, remember that I said I was hot for the idea of a sister of yours, and maybe limit adjectives and adverbs to a few hundred per month. I know it's a lot to ask. Not sure why I ask, since by your own words you aren't listening. Call me skeptical regarding your avoidance.Hey to your ha, too, A!
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