FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Posted by el duque at 7:01 AM
Your Honor, members of the jury, esteemed courtiers of the press, fellow fans... Let the record show that on May 24, 2016, the New York Baseball Yankees climbed from the dank dungeon of .472 and achieved the status that in Gotham was once equated with Met-like mediocrity. The team reached .500. But in the new reality of Major League parity, a .500 team is a contender. The 2016 Yankees are now official contenders and, thus, deserve all the privileges and respect that traditionally befits such organizations. Congratulations to Mr. Steinbrenner, President Levine, Mr. Cashman, Mr. Girardi and all the players who achieved this remarkably middling goal.
OK, let's reboot this. I don't want to always be the downer blog. From now on, every negative line should be tempered with an equal dollop of enthusiasm. Frankly, I'd rather be .500 and rising, which is what we are. Since A-Rod went on the DL May 3, we are 14-7. Since Donald Trump tweeted his May 5 taco to 11 million amigos, we are 13-6. Since El Chapo arrived from his domestic turmoil suspension, we are 11-4. Since Brigadoon Refsnyder returned from beyond The Wall, we are 3-0. We are baseball's hottest team. John and Suzyn spent half last night's game giggling like teenagers in sleeping bags.
If the season ended today, we'd finish three games out of the prestigious AL Wild Card Away Game Birth. This would mean we achieved a September race and thus, sold tickets to the end. The owner would say he's not satisfied, but nobody would lose his job, and the Steinbrenner family could once again stave off foreclosure on the double-wide. So... here are some pluses and minuses, hopefully in precisely equal helpings.
Plus: Luis Severino will soon start a rehab game in the minors. Minus: We really need him to be good, because Tanaka pitches far better with 5 days of rest, which means we need a sixth starter, and we don't have one, unless you're thinking about Phil "Classic" Coke.
Plus: Ivan Nova and Michael Pineda are pitching well. Minus: They are Ivan Nova and Michael Pineda. This is what they do.
Plus: Ellsbury is hot. Minus: He'll probably get hurt.
Plus: Tex should start hitting soon. Minus: See above.
Plus: Toronto looks legitimately bad. Minus: Baltimore and Boston look legitimately good.
Plus: Nathan Eovaldi, Andrew Miller, Dellin Betances, Aroldis Chapman and Starlin Castro. Minus: Aaron Judge - still the most important player in the Yankiverse - is floundering in Scranton.
Plus: The days are still getting longer. Minus: Mosquito season soon commences.
The new X-Men movie arrives soon. Any bets? My guess: Maybe yes, maybe no....