Friday, May 20, 2016

Victory! Thanks to "The Holy Trinity of Smoke"

Today, like the moderator of an advertising focus group, George King of the NY Elect Donald Trump Post calls the Yankee big three bullpen "the Holy Trinity of Smoke."

He uses the line repeatedly, obviously trying to sell the brand - which is the modern Yankee corporate way. Get a catchphrase and burn it into people's heads. Holy Trinity of Smoke... Holy Trinity of Smoke... Holy Trinity o-

Yeah, OK, enough! I got it! Hole. Trin. Smo. At last, the 2016 New York Padres - the team too boring to be believed - have a marquee gate attraction, and loyal fans should bow down behind it. If this plucky, low-budget Yankee team leads going into the seventh, the game is over. Right? All we need is the lead.

Wait... could that be the 2016 slogan?

All we need is the lead. All we need is the lead. All we need is... the lead.

Last night, Ivan Nova - Ivan the Bearable, not Ivan the Terrible - threw six fine innings and only used 62 pitches. You'd think he could pitched the seventh, maybe the eighth. Nope. Not an option according to Joe the Binders. Joe pulled him and went with the Holy Trin- ah, fuckit - Betances, Miller and El Chapo... who by July could be the Holy Trinity of Scott Procter.

Listen, I'm as giddy as any Yankee fan about the back of our bullpen. I wonder how we managed to win four World Championships with only one closer. But how many wins can we realistically nail down, if we have to use all three of our best pitchers? Right now, we are 4-0 when the Holy - uhm - when Betances, Miller and El Chapo pitch. Since Chapman's suspension ended May 9, we are 7-4. (In four games, we actually scored at least six runs.)

It's a great formula - get lead, release kraken - if we're in a September pennant race. But how many games in one season can we realistically expect the Three-Way to nail down?

OK, I looked it up. A little research never hurt nobody.

Last year, Betances pitched in 74 games, Miller in 60, El Chapo 65. If they're all used in one game, that means we can nail down - what? - 60 to 70 wins?

Right now, Betances is on track to throw in 80 games, and Miller 76. Both would throwing the most in their careers. In the last 10 days, Chapman has been used six times, (which is completely unsustainable.) Joe has been drunk dialing them.

It's nice to have a brand name. Holy Trinity of Smoke? Yeah, OK, whatever. You say tomato, I say tomato. But CC pitches tonight, and he better go longer than six, because Nick Goody, Chasen Shreve and James Pavos are our options, and they are the Holy Trinity of Croak.

Oh well, two in row, baby. Two in a row.


KD said...

Could Alfonzo's double reverse juju be turning this team around?

John M said...

I was trying to push "Closer Cluster" for those three guys. Not sexy enough, I suppose, but I was trying to capture the futility of it all.

Isn't "Holy Trinity" sacrilegious? I thought the Post was a conservative rag?

Tom said...

We're enjoying a Charlie Brown winning streak!

Mismanagement will see to it that they are not extended beyond two games.