Saturday, May 28, 2016

Two Ads, One Homer

I've barely posted at all this year, because I don't believe the Yankee High Command intends to do anything meaningful to help the team's chances until 2018. That's too depressing to harp on, even for this site. Forget I said anything. I'm not even here to talk about that. I just need to get a few things off my chest.

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In the seventh inning of Wednesday's loss, Chase Headley homered with no one on base, improving the score to TOR 7 - NYY 2. John pronounced this the Ballantine Blast of the Game. Then he remembered (or someone reminded him) that solo homers are sponsored by some company with Solo in the name. So they got mentioned, too, giving one home run two sponsors. I bet even Babe Ruth never hit one of those. The next batter, Didi Gregorius, also homered, but John had run out of advertising tie-ins. Didi's dinger turned out to be that rare Yankee feat with no commercial value.

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This notification arrived on my screens last night:

If you would like to know what Curt Schilling has to say about Hiroshima, and if your desire for this knowledge is sincere and without irony, please stay far the fuck away from me forever. Thank you.

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Meanwhile, in the cooling shadow of the Cathedral of Baseball, Bronx Youth Group Wants Nearby Slaughterhouse to Move.
Passersby face puddles of animal blood on the sidewalk, harsh odors from animal feces, exposure to improperly disposed chicken carcasses and at times direct contact with improperly enclosed livestock...
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I missed this, and maybe you did, too: on May 10, former Yankee and current Nippon-Ham Fighter Brandon Laird won a year's supply of beer when he homered off a Kirin Brewery sign in the left field seats of the Tokyo Dome:


Anonymous said...

You are our Bill James (and I mean that in a good way)

el duque said...

The slaughterhouse needs to be moved closer.

Alphonso said...

Mustang...hope you plan to hang at the lake.

JM said...

We need more slaughterhouses, not less. A little pool of animal blood never hurt anyone in the Meatpacking District. Either when actual butchery was practiced there or now that it's a Eurotrash meat market.

joe de pastry said...

Great post. We've missed you.

Mustang said...

Aww thanks guys. Also, I agree: slaughterhouses everywhere!

I'm Bill White said...

The Ballantyne Beer logo looks like something from a JJ Abrams project, its meaning revealed strand by strand over the course of four or five seasons. Great post, sir.