Friday, October 22, 2010

Yankitorial: Mr. Bud "Baseball is more popular than ever!" Selig ought to spend more time thinking about fans and less time trying to kill their websites

OK, we'll admit it, we're still sore about MLB killing all our John Sterling content on YouTube. They killed everything -- everything -- even stuff they had no rights to touch. Oh well, that's history. That's their legacy: Squeeze a dime from every loyal fan, and if they don't cough up worthy tribute -- unleash the Kraken. Lawyers, that is. They don't work for nothing.

This week, MLB suffered a Carl Paladinoan embarrassment with the stunning disclosures that its post-season TV ratings fell below Monday Night Football's dismal battle between the Tennessee Whatevers and the Jacksonville Jacksonians. Yep: The numbers say America would rather watch chemically-altered mutants subject themselves and their families to Second Stage Alzheimers by age 35 -- than see the Yankees -- yes, after Blackwater Killer Inc., the most loved and hated team of men on earth -- play George W. Bush's fantasy Rangers in the ALCS.

Meanwhile, the talking hairpiece known as Bud Selig turns up everywhere, telling microphones in miniskirs how successful he is as Commissioner. It's like the Rent Is Too Damn High Party candidate saying he'll be the next governor of New York. Now that Mel Gibson has been bounced out of "The Hangover 2" movie, Selig should be hired for the Mike Tyson, nutjob celebrity cameo opening. He probably owns a tiger.

Let MLB's sad ratings remind everybody of Selig's and baseball's state of mind.

The Yankees-Rangers series is being aired on TBS. Yes, cable TV. That means millions of fans -- middle class fans and families without the means to pay $60 a month for Jersey Shore and Project Runway-- cannot watch the playoffs. To MLB, they don't exist.

My family doesn't get TBS. Nope. We're not on the grid to buy luxury boxes or $39.95 T-shirts. So... the hell with us.

Of course, some of us have the money -- we just don't want to spent it on news channels that claim the President is a Muslim and flying saucers walk among us. Or to paraphrase Woody Allen, we'd rather pay people to pick up the garbage than pay for it to be funneled it into our living rooms.

The playoff ratings are a debacle, an embarrassment, but hey -- who cares? Baseball squeezed out a few more dimes. Next July, teams can spend a little more on the 16-year-old Latino boys, down in those Caribbean plantation systems, and the owners -- the billionaires who pretend to be millionaires -- can spend their Yankee luxury tax money to put Wi-Fi in their antique boats. This winter, when it gets cold in Syracuse, maybe we can wear tricke-down-filled parkas, eh?

A part of me almost wants San Francisco to play Texas in the World Series. Let's see what kind of ratings that match-up brings.


Anonymous said...

As a SU alumnus I can certainly vouch for the cold weather where no one gives a hoot or a thought about baseball (Syracuse has three seasons: winter, July and August). But I digress.

I wanted to concur with the shutting out of people with means who choose not to subscribe to pay televisions service. It's at least a civil offense to rip off followers of sports to feed someone's unneedy coffers when advertisers would pay more to reach more. It could be a criminal offense because of who is committing the robbery. Anyway, I digress some more.

Having to only see the NLCS OTA, albeit exciting, leaves this fan wanting; and certainly not wanting to put up with McCarver when the games are not of emotional interest.

I choose to listen to John and Suzy until Wednesday night, when finally the boys will be on TV OTA, with our without McCarver.

And I agree with the picture of Nolan Ryan placed above this piece of wisdom from El Duque.

Joe De Pastry said...

And that MNF game that beat baseball in the ratings was also only on cable [except in the mini-markets of Tennessee and Jerksonville], not on ABC, like in the old Dandy Don days.

But Duce, you better get surgery to cut out the traitorous part of you that almost wants the Texasses, Bush and Ryan, in the WS.

And if they do get there I want the Phillies playing them, because they have a better chance of beating them, which would have the added benefit of pissing off supporters of the hapless Metropolitans.

Anonymous said...


Is this not a yankee site? So we gotta hear your political agenda of liberal accusers attacking and slandering? Just a note of help..Normal people dont interject paranoid, liberal, demeaning comments into random subjects like Baseball.

el duque said...

This is not a Yankee site.

This is a Yankee Truth Site.

Dr. Ruth said...

To Mr. Not-a-Mouse:

It is my professional opinion that you are delusional if you think this website is run and followed by "Normal people".

You want your type of normal people? Try with all the propaganda you want.

Joe De Pastry said...

ANONYMOUS HATER OF LIBERALS: In case you haven't figured it out from the comments I write let me make it simple for you: I am not a "normal people" and never want to be.
And baseball is not just a "random subject." Yankee Baseball is THE #1 SUBJECT, about which abnormal, parnoid, demeaning, and even irrelevant comments are welcomed by the rest of us here. Love it or leave it.
And by the way, pardon my paranoia, but why haven't you shown us your birth certificate?