Thursday, May 19, 2011

Redsocks may get Kevin Millwood

Now I'm really scared.

Listen: After the campaign we waged for him, including "Kevin Millwood: The Poem," leading to his disappointing outcomes in Scranton ...well... if the bum signs with Boston and then pitches well... we must face one inalterable fact.

There is no God.

Yep. Christopher Hitchings is right. There's nobody up there. Nada.

Folks, if he pitches well for the Redsocks, that just aint frickin right.

I can handle the Pedro Felicianos, the Rafael Sorianos, the age-related collapse of great Yankees and even the sea-sickness inducing roller-coaster rides of AJ Burnett. But if Millwood signs with the Bozos and then becomes their Bartolo Colon... I will consider that no less than a Declaration of War against the Yankees by the juju gods. Yes, war.

And if they think we have no counter-response weaponry in our gym bags... well... they will be sadly mistaken.

Pass some rattlesnakes, anyone?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

If he pitches well for the Townies, it only confirms the scouting report that he'd suck in pinstripes.

Joe De Pastry said...

Farnsworth is closing in Tampa, Aceves is doing pretty well in Beantown. Next up: Chien-Ming Wang wins 20 for Toronto.