Friday, August 17, 2012

Yankeetorial: Where have you gone, Corey Wade, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

What's that you say, Mrs. Dickerson,
Chris has gone to "Scranton" for a day, hey hey hey.

This year, to be "sent to Scranton" means to be placed into a Higgs boson obliteration booth, (known as the Meacham Machine), disembodied and transported via wormhole to the most remote part of the galaxy: the NY State Thruway. Think: Batavia. Any of you ever been to Batavia? It's famous for a hottie housewife who was arrested in a public park for cheating on the hubby. No lie. That's where the Yankees stash spare parts.

So where are these lost legions? Particularly, considering Joba Chamberlain's continuing struggles, mouthy types across the Yankiverse today are wondering, "WTFever happened to Corey Wade?"

Remember him? Pitched great for a year, then tanked in July and was marched into the Meacham-Blaster. For the NY Thruway Trolley Frogs (which, btw, is what Scranton might name its team next year) he's pitched 22 innings and given up only 5 earned runs. Trouble is, three came in his last outing.

Or Nuni. Remember Eduardo Nunez? Utility IF of the future? They Scrantoned him to play SS every day. He quickly cracked a finger, missed a month. Now he's finger-healthy again. With 100 ABs in Triple A, he's hitting .202. Jayson Nix is sleeping well at night. (But Nix doesn't have half the upside of Nuni, am I right?) No idea whether he's learned to catch a ball.

They're all down there, a cavalcade from the past: Chris Dickerson (.314), Kevin Russo (.300), Ramiro Pena (.257), Frankie Cervelli (.250) and Gustavo Molina (.188). And pitchers Adam Warren (3.77), Kevin Whelan (3.55) and even Dellin Betances, who fell like a stone all the way to Trenton, where I don't believe they keep statistics, out of common courtesy.

They're like a ghost team, astral projections from another planet, banished long ago to the outlands, forever to walk this earth as symbols of what happens to those who toil and fall.

Let us pray for Joba. And for that matter, for all of them. September 1 is only days away. It's a fine line between heaven and hell.

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