Wednesday, August 10, 2016

All you Second Amendment people out there*, we need a solution to this Yankee mess

Last night, my wife - the one authentic bellwether oracle for Yankee justice - couldn't believe what she was watching. "Are they f---g serious?" she said. "Where the hell is A-Rod?" 

The Fenway frat-mob agreed. They chanted for him, obviously hoping for one last boo. But I haven't felt more prone to snapping off a Yankee game since - well - two weeks ago, before The Purge. When the Yankees announced they were releasing Alex Rodriguez, I figured it a slam dunk that he'd get four games to shoot for 700, and that - love him or hate him - they wouldn't be so organizationally petty as to sit the greatest home run hitter of his generation, when he's two steps out the door and only four A-bombs from a milestone. Obviously, I was wrong.

But here's where I'm overwhelmed by the sliminess. I doubt this move came from Girardi. He hasn't lasted this long as manager without learning to read the desires of the masthead. The decision to banish A-Rod had to come from the human sensory deprivation tank that we call Shallow Hal. It brings us one more reminder that every fish rots from the head down, and that the glump who sits atop the Yankee pyramid is a pampered amalgamation of nepotism and cronyism, and his greatest skill is not in accumulating money, but scapegoats. The Steinbrenners foisted all that money and all those years upon A-Rod, and now, when they are supposed to be working toward a solution with the guy, they don't even give him a final bow?

There is something going on here, and it's not been fully explained. The Yankees are kicking A-Rod out the door, while pretending to be loving caretakers of his legacy. But somewhere in the fine print, some performance clause must forbid him from signing with another team, or attaches money to his next move. (It's obvious that they don't want to pay him the milestone bonus for reaching 700, but something else, even more devious, is going on.) 

Of course, Boston wants to see him only so they can unleash a volcano of boos. It would sound like Springsteen, but they wouldn't be yelling "Bruuuce." And all last night, I kept thinking, maybe Joe will send up A-Rod to pinch hit with the bases full. Maybe there will be one last moment...

Girardi says in a race for the Wild Card. What a joke. Look out in right field, there's Aaron Hicks - can't hit a lick, and last night, he couldn't field in the corner or run the bases. Are they fucking serious? Where the hell is A-Rod?

*This, of course, is just a funny joke. I'm referring to Second Amendment supporting fans, who won't go to games. 


JM said...

I'm really steamed.

Rose City Wobbly said...

Hey folks - in a non-judgemental way I suggest you all check this out. You and the folks in your lives that love and depend on you will appreciate it:

Rose City Wobbly said...

Sorry - we know abuse is no laughing matter .... but as I read and listen to your rants and pain from afar ... you really need help from this intimate relationship you have with this team and ownership/management group.

"GO GET HELP" - as ANONYMOUS might decry .....

Local Bargain Jerk said...

@Rose City Wobbly

What's worse, 1) being passionate about your home team, or 2) spending your time trolling another team's blogs trying to stir up trouble?

Move vote is #2.

Physician, heal thyself.

Rose City Wobbly said...

Local Jerk - as Mr. Khan would suggest "have you ever read our constitution?"

I will also add that defensiveness is one of the common traits for receipients of abuse.

So my agenda is to bring you all over to a fun and winning tradition that began in NYC - the SF Baseball Giants. Check out The McCovey Chronicles - not a blog but a self-effacing, informative and critical site that keeps us happy and engaged. Try it and you'll like us. And as Duque opines - you are already us from Rags and Tidrow on down or up thru our coaching and management staff. And you get to hate on our Red Sox - the Dodgers ...

Local Bargain Jerk said...

@Rose City Wobbly:

I'm not saying you don't have the right to do what you're doing, so I'm not sure why you're making the comment about "our constitution".

I'm also not sure which of the 28 words I wrote made you think I was on the defensive.

What I was trying to say is that you're a douche bag.

I'm sorry I wasn't more clear.

el duque said...


Your attempts to poach fans for your miserable franchise will never succeed.

There is only one "Giants" team, and Eli Manning is its quarterback.

Unknown said...

Douche bag? Stay classy now - local jerk! I thought you'd pull out of your bigly Yankee fan's playbook and call me a 'yuge loser'.

I just want to point out - as many of your scribes have written - the whole world is watching how your shit the bed with Arod this week. And we are crying with you.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

Statement 1: "Stay classy now"

Statement 2: "the whole world is watching how your shit the bed"

Trying to speak with you is like driving on the highway with your cruise control set to 72 mph and there's some other yutz alternately driving 55 mph and 80 mph. He gets in your way at some points and passes you in a huff at others. All you really want is for him to get off at his exit so you can drive in peace.

Please be less erratic. Or, please feel free to get off at your own exit.

Physician, heal thyself.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Dearest Rose Wobbly,
I say this without any irony. Trolls are the most pathetic creatures lurking the internet, it is a disease and it can take over your life. Please find help for yourself, and, for those in your life that you love.
Enjoy your Giants my friend, and we'll enjoy ours.

Ken of Brooklyn said...


Nickname Damur said...

I know those kind of drivers. They suck.

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