Live Yankee Chat: Wednesday 5 p.m.

Live Yankee Chat: Wednesday 5 p.m.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Chris Carter is consistent with the new Yankee tradition

Hoping to get their credentials re-upped, a few brown-nosing Gammonites today are troweling the snake oil pitch that the Yankees' signing of 30-year-old Chris Carter is a brilliant move because:

1. At $3.5 million, he's cheap.

2. If he doesn't hit, we'll release him.

3. If he hits, we'll trade him.

4. It's only one-year.

5. He's cheap.

Exciting, eh? It's all I can do to keep from driving to NYC to stand in the ticket line, which by now must surely stretch to White Plains. We've signed mighty Casey! The 2017 National League Home Run leader! A solid veteran DH, now in his third team in three seasons.

We have been here before. Ron Kittle. Gary Ward. Jack Clark. Ken Phelps. Rickie Sexson. Jose Canseco. They saunter up to the plate, take three big cuts, then saunter back to their well-warmed seats. But wait: Carter also grounds into DPs! Last year, he launched 18, three times that of Mark Teixeira, who retired rather than be embarrassed. Clearly, all that January hype about the "Baby Bombers" tandem of Greg Bird and Tyler Austin doesn't apply to February. The last two players we've signed play 1B: Carter and Ji-Man "Oy!" Choi. We have three starting pitchers and a slag pile of DH/1Bs. For fifth starter, maybe we can sign the Irritable Bowel Syndrome lady.

So, while Hal Steinbrenner - alias Pennywise the Clown - hides in the sewer during negotiations with pitchers, he does pop up to buy a used condom, because - hey - it was only a quarter! Is this the new Yankee strategy? Buy damaged goods at the flea market, polish them, and then spin them for a nickel profit on July 31? Hal has become a certified American Picker. He should chew a toothpick and wear a pocket t-shirt. Who knows what treasures we'll find down there in the cellar.

Today, the Yankees have a four-man DH rotation: Matt Holliday, Carter, Bird and Gary Sanchez, when he needs a day off from catching - plus the Unknown Aarons - Judge and Hicks - and the inevitable nagging injuries that keep Gardner and Ellsbury from playing the field. Here's a thought: Billy Butler is still out there! He can round out the rotation. You know what they say: Baseball is 90 percent DHing, DHing, DHing...

Two-hundred-and-six strikeouts, 18 double-plays and a glove that goes clank. Wow. But... HE'S CHEAP! And in the new Yankee reality, that's all that counts.

4 comments:

KD said...

Keeps him out of Boston's hands. Brilliant move!

Anonymous said...

BOSTON CAN HAVE CHRIS SALE.....AS LONG AS THEY DON'T GET CHRIS CARTER, WE'LL BE OK!!!

Anonymous said...

....AND WHAT A GENIUS THAT CASHMAN IS!!! ..... HE STOLE CHRIS CARTER FOR A MILLION AND A HALF LESS THAN STEPHEN DREW (FOR 1 YEAR)!!!!..... WHAT A DEAL!!! ....CASHMAN BELONGS IN THE HALL!

Alphonso said...

You are all missing the point.

Cashman is at work here. Five will get you ten he has a deal on the books for a starting pitcher. All we have to do is give up Greg Bird, Tyler Austin and a few others. First base will still be "covered" by the depth bought in the chinese guy and this 30 year old strike out king.

It is all part of the grand plan; to look as though the Yankees are re-building with youth, but to stock the shelves with wiley, cheap veterans whom no one else covets.

Mark my words. Our starting line-up will have as youth: Sanchez; Didi: and Starlin.

Everyone else will be far older than you imagine. We are loading up with unqualified millionaires, Like Our new Secretary of Education. It's the new American way.