Sunday, February 26, 2017

Links of joy following secret Yankee victory

Keep this under your hat: Yesterday, the Yankees let Philadelphia win. Because we're smart. 

If we claim to win every game - as we could - how long would it be before the corporate-owned media starts promoting fake losses - as they do - without even printing box scores (as was the case yesterday), because the globalist anti-American League bureaucracy cannot allow our success? Come on, sheeple! Pull your foam victory fingers from the sand. If the Yankees win 150 games this year, taking the division by 50, the deep state, neo-Gammonites would try to de-legitimize us by creating false narratives, such as printing phony scores and statistics, such as WAR and OPS.  Do not be fooled by these fake sports sites, who are owned and operated by anti-Yankee interests. Only here will you find the truth. 

Yesterday, the Yankees secretly won, while feigning public defeat. 


We led until the ninth - showcasing our complete and utter domination of a lesser team, franchise and gene-pool - and then, just as the media crones were sharpening their axes, we let the little babies have their way. We brought out Joe Mantiply - a 25-year-old winter slag heap acquisition - and instructed him to lose. Our plan is working perfectly. 

In fact, every plank of our strategy is running smoothly, as shown in the following links.

A-Rod and Lady Google are kaput. This was a difficult assignment for Agent 13, his first undercover mission that required his manly seductive talents. I cannot disclose the classified nature of his work, but let's just say that, from now on, if you google "Kinky Boots" and "Hal Steinbrenner," you will get the truth. Well done, Thirteen. Now, we will turn to Taylor Swift... 

El Chapo, aka Aroldis Chapman, is excited to be in Tamp Camp with El Duque (the other one) and the Bronze Titan, which is what Alphonso has been called after a golden shower. He met yesterday with Orlando Hernandez and Jose Contreras, his childhood idols while growing up under communist control.

Matt Holliday tells Jerry Hall's newspaper that Aaron Judge "seems like a good human being, first and foremost." Does a good human being strike out 200 times a year? That is the question.

The media is beating the drums on Gleyber Torres, our top prospect. They're even questioning whether the Yankees are secretly holding back Torres in order to keep him from becoming a free agent sooner. Weird. The guy hasn't hit above Double A, and he's blocked by Gregorius and Castro, yet the Gammonites want him up there now? Like Bella Legosi would say, bevare... bevare... bevare.


John M said...

I have to read Page Six more. Alex and Annie? Talk about unlikely pairs. Maybe she wrestles on the side?

Hey, Castro just hit a home run. He looks great for a guy who died a while ago. How's his brother doing with Cuba?

Anonymous said...

Hate to break it to you, John, but there's more than one Castro - - there's actually a whole doggone buncha' them: Fidel (Cuba, Si! Castro, No!), Raul, Starlin, Julian, Julian's twin bro, Timothy, Reginald (waal, OK, I made those last two up, I admit - - but I bet they're there, SOMEwhere....
Alex likes them Yoga chicks, from what I hear....gets one look at 'em, stretchin' out in them Yoga Pants, and - - aargh!! I can't go on.
What?? You mean there's TWO El Duques?? You mean I'm dealing with a non-Hernandez model?? Say it ain't so, somebody!!
Well, yeah, I KNOW there's more than one Cap'n - - fact is, I've got a jersey signed by five of 'em....but, MORE THAN ONE DUQUE????? LB (No J)