Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Dubious Achievement Awards, Parte de Deux

All right, in the wake of an avalanche of depressing news this last gray, soggy day—no Yonkers Raceway, no Toe but Cano, etc.—I think we need to get to the cheery business of handing out more end of the season awards.




Today's question:  what was The Worst Pineapple Loss of the 2018 Campaign?

Sure, the obvious choices all involve Boston:

—The agonizing, final game of the season, in which a ninth-inning rally fell just short as our best hitter all season sat on the bench and our supposed best hitter swung at pitches like a maddened English explorer swatting at tse-tse flies;

—The awful, 10-inning, August 5th loss in Fenway, in which our closer gave up 3 runs in the 9th, the final one on a throw that Greg Bird dropped at first, thereby completing a four-game sweep and effectively ending the regular season for us.

—The penultimate game of the season, the 16-1 loss in the ALDS to Nathan Eovaldi, for which our starter could not even be bothered to show up on time.  Technically not a pineapple loss at all, I know, but one so gruesomely awful that I don't think the franchise will ever recover from it.

My pick, though, would be another one.

That is, our prickly, 12-10 loss in Texas, on May 23rd.

It wasn't like this game was all that significant in its own right.  The Yanks had been playing great ball leading up to it, coming into the game with a 31-15 record (after that dreary, 9-9 start), and after it was over they would go on another 19-6 spurt, leaving them at their pinnacle for the season—and for this stillborn dynasty, I'm afraid—with a 50-22 record.

It was more everything that the game presaged.  A CC rapidly nearing the glue factory, a relief staff that would not be the impregnable fortress again that it was in the second half of 2017.  An inability to hit in the clutch, the collapse of Sanchez, the idiocy of our new manager, the dedication of our GM to the great cause of getting Neil Walker more at-bats.

It was all there, if only we had been able to read the tea leaves.

Our boys jumped off to a quick, 4-0 lead, despite leaving 6 men on base in the first 4 innings (an ominous note right there).  CC then gave it all up in a hurry, being pounded by Ranger nonentities for 5 runs in the bottom of the 4th.

We brushed it off, scoring six more runs of our own on homers by Judge and The Gleyber.  We were cruising again, up 10-5.

Inexplicably, CC, who had already thrown 77 pitches and surrendered 3 walks and 3 hits—including homers to the likes of Nomar Mazara and Ronald Guzman—came back out for the fifth.  Three more hits later, it was 10-7, and Chasen Shreve and Dave Robertson gave away the rest an inning later.

Meanwhile, we stopped hitting completely.  Sanchez, who had not started the game, came in in the 9th to pinch hit against the immortal Keone Kela, the last king of Hawaii, and struck out.

Neil Walker, who entered the game batting .210, hit a single and a solo homer, thereby guaranteeing him another five months of work.

Sure, there were other games.

Those Boston monstrosities.  Aaron Boone's various insistences on pitching to Justin Smoak, no matter what.  Any number of other Shreve or Robertson or Betances beauties.

We are open to any and all suggestions here.  But for my money, our Pineapple of the Year should have a distinctly Texan burn to it.





7 comments:

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


When I was a boy (in Brooklyn), one of the guys I knew told me his father threw a fit every time he heard the words "Horace Clarke."

I'm not sure whether that was because Horace was such an inadequate ballplayer (my memory is that he refused to draw walks)...or a horrible fielder...or because the dad was a racist.

[There was a lot of racism around when I was a kid. It wasn't hidden. I probably was headed down the same path, except that I was enrolled in a centralized public high school (Brooklyn Tech) -- where, unlike my Italian-dominated neighborhood, there were actual black people.]

Checked the numbers. Horace drew 365 non-intentional walks in nearly 5,200 plate appearances. I'm not sure that's horrible. He did make 104 errors in 1,100 MLB games. I'm pretty sure that IS horrid.

Reason for this ditty: I have become the same way -- toward the two words "Neil Walker." I get palpitations whenever I read his name.

I would appreciate it if, for the remainder of my shortening life, the bloggers and posters on this site refrained from putting his name. Anywhere. Anytime.

Even if the idiots in charge re-sign him for '19.....

Anonymous said...


Hoss,

I understand the concept of the pineapple as painful but to me the pineapple will always be the fruit that showed up in my house only on Maj-Jong night, garnished with maraschino cherries, and was not to be eaten by me because, "It was for the ladies."

So I will have to take a hard pass on this exercise.

Joe FOB, Are you still good with Neal "Hairiest Back In The NBA" Walk?

Doug K.

Alphonso said...

There is no doubt.

The number one pineapple goes to Boone.

Not allowing Andujar to play in the finale against Boston is a shame to all mankind.

Anonymous said...

GOTTA GO WITH THE BLOWUP IN BOSTON (THE ONE CHAPPY BLEW WITH BIRD NOT MAKING THE SCOOP)....

IT HURT US ON MORE LEVELS THAN MEETS THE EYE....

ANDUJAR.

HE HAD NOT BEEN PLAYING THAT BAD A 3RD BASE UNTIL THAT MOMENT.

THE WHISPERS, THE DOUBTS, THE FUCKING SABER-NONSENSE STATS HE, NO DOUBT, HAD TO BE HEARING....

HE FINALLY SUCCUMBED TO ALL THE DOUBTS AND PRESSURES IN THAT MOMENT.

FROM THERE ON, INSTEAD OF OUR MANAGER AND GM TRY TO BUILD THIS ROOKIE'S CONFIDENCE, THEY HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT TEAR HIM DOWN.

SO MUCH SO, THAT IT WAS NOTHING BUT DOWNHILL DEFENSIVELY, FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON, CULMINATING IN THE FINAL TEAR DOWN OF HIS CONFIDENCE, (THE BENCHING IN THE FINAL GAME).

THAT BENCHING SORT OF "INVALIDATED" ALL THE GOOD HE ACCOMPLISHED THE WHOLE SEASON.

WHICH WAS ANOTHER REASON WHY I WANTED HIM TO WIN THE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD SO BADLY... FOR HIM TO FEEL "VALIDATED" FOR THE GREAT YEAR HE HAD.

OF COURSE, HE GOT RAILROADED OUT OF THE AWARD TOO. (WHICH WAS OUTRAGEOUS).

AMAZINGLY, THE MENTAL DESTRUCTION CONTINUES FOR MIGGY, AS TRADE RUMORS AND THE EVENTUAL SIGNING OF MACHADO LOOM.

JUST THINK OF THIS....NEXT SEASON, HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE WILL PLAY 3RD BASE, FIRST BASE, DH, OR LEFT FIELD FOR THE YANKEES, 3RD BASE FOR ANY OF THE OTHER 29 TEAMS, OR IN COOP'S CRAZY WORLD, ANY POSITION BESIDES PITCHER AND CATCHER IN...SCRANTON!

WE ARE DOING OUR BEST "BRIGADOON" REFSNYDER RE-DO, AND THIS ONE MAY BE A MASTERPIECE OF DESTRUCTION.

Anonymous said...

No one should be forgetting this classic from July when Gary Bag o' Donuts (1) lumbered after the passed ball and later (2) killed the ninth-inning rally while (3) ending the game by taking it slow down the line! https://www.sny.tv/yankees/news/sanchezs-lack-of-hustle-costs-yankees-in-one-run-loss-to-rays/287036096

Anonymous said...

YOU CAME UP WITH A NICE ONE anonymous.

THE SANCHEZ STROLL DOWN THE LINE ON THE FINAL PLAY HAD ME KNEE-SLAPPING MAD.

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