Thursday, January 17, 2019

Dear Hal: Signing Ottavino is great! NOW FINISH THE JOB!

We are NOT letting up. 

SIGN BRYCE HARPER!

IF YOU SIGN BRYCE HARPER, I HEREBY PROMISE TO NEVER CALL YOU "FOOD STAMPS" AGAIN.

It's time for the kill shot. If you come this far, and then fail to sign Harper, you are:

-- President George H.W. Bush invading Iraq and letting Saddam Hussein remain in power, thereby ensuring that another war will take place.

-- Captain Edward Smith speeding across the North Atlantic but ignoring the warnings of good-hearted Yankee fans, at the expense of his ship, the Titanic. 

-- Oil giant BP, disregarding upgrades of its Deepwater Horizon rig in the Gulf of Mexico, causing the worst oil spill in history, a $40 billion cleanup.

Sir... in for a penny, in for a pound.

SIGN BRYCE HARPER, AND WE WILL LEAD THE CAMPAIGN TO PUT YOUR FATHER IN THE HALL OF FAME.

SIGN BRYCE HARPER, AND I WILL NEVER CALL YOU "HAL-IGATOR ARMS" AGAIN.

SIGN BRYCE HARPER, AND I WILL NEVER QUESTION YOUR FAMILY LEGACY AGAIN.

SIGN BRYCE HARPER, AND WE WILL CALL OFF THE DOGS. 

17 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

Lead, Duque, lead!

I, for one, promise to lay off the whole kinky boots thing.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, we need to bombard Hal and Coops with e-mails about what geniuses they would be proclaimed if they swooped in late and snatched up Bryce and Manny for about $100 million less than people were figuring they would get.

Anonymous said...

I'm onboard with that pledge. I can only guarantee three years of compliance though.

But here's a serious question.

If the Yankees do sign Harper (26) does that count enough for the youth movement to ship Red (cleared for baseball activities)Thunder plus Gray (like we care) plus Florial and someone else who would really hurt, to the Indians for Corey Kluber? Making us...

Kluber
Soriano
Tanaka
Paxton
Happ /CC

With a Bullpen of

El Chapo
Betances
Britton
Ottavino
Greene
Kahnle
and a kid

and a line up of

SS Gleybar
RF Judge
LF Harper
DH Stanton
3B AnDUjar
CF Hicks
1B Voit
C Sanchez
2B LeMay (sp)

and a bench of Gardner, Tulo, and Romine

But a pretty much totally empty minor league system for the next 3-5 years? For the record... I would.

Doug K.


I'm Bill White said...

Repost this in February. Gonna be waitin’ awhile longer is my guess.

Anonymous said...

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY....

FINISH THE JOB!

WE STILL HAVE NO LEFTY BATS!

SLIDER, SLIDER, SLIDER, SLIDER, (FROM RIGHT HANDERS)...

STRIKE 3, STRIKE 3, STRIKE 3, STRIKE 3. (NO CONTACT)...

BASES LOADED NO OUT, NO RUNS.

OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

AGAIN, AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

CAN'T TAKE IT.

HoraceClarke66 said...

What, ALL-CAPS, you disagree with Coops' incredible, "Dare to take a called third strike" strategy???

Doug K., a slightly better lineup, in order to sandwich that Harper bat between righties:

Gleyber
Andujar
Judge
Harper
Stanton
Hicks
Voit
Sanchez
The May Fly

13bit said...

I pledge nothing. Our rotation is weak. Hal and Brian won’t buy me off with the same bullshit trick.

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Anonymous said...

As does Doug K., I will sign that pledge, with an opt-out after three years. LB (No J)

HoraceClarke66 said...

OH NO! Last year it was Dr. Bogodan. This year, just as another Yankees season approaches, comes...Dr. Olu and his penis enlargement!!!

John M said...

Small Penis man strikes again. He hit the last post, too.

What a dick.

ranger_lp said...

Well, I can see how that is important...

https://sports.yahoo.com/select-penis-length-says-female-coach-german-mens-185050077--sow.html

ranger_lp said...

@HC will that be a soccer story in the Times?

KD said...

well, this is more like it! now, finish the job.

KD said...

Cubs said to be out of running for Harper:

https://sports.yahoo.com/well-sure-looks-bryce-harper-204337100.html

bullshit probs, but who knows?

what say you of my management-style juju now? might have to double up on the California medications tonight. gotta bring the Hair to the Bronx.

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

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