Monday, January 21, 2019

Have we have reached the era when fantastical finishes have become tedious?

If you scripted major sports events - if the NFL were the WWE - every game would boil down to a "Hail Mary" pass or a fantastical play in overtime. Every baseball game would end with the tying run at third, and the final minute of an NBA game would last an eternity. Everything would come down to the last play. 

You know... like it is now. 

Listen: During the regular season, I never watch an entire Yankee game. Who has the time? It might take five hours. Besides, the first six innings do not matter. Unless one team is blown out, everything will hinge on the final three, when teams move from starter to closer. Turn on the game in the seventh. Forget the early innings. That's what wrap-ups are for.

For as long as I can remember, this was the reality of the NBA. In the first three quarters, anything less than a 30-point lead is virtually meaningless. If you're waiting for the game to end, so TBS can switch to Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, good luck with the final two minutes. They will last a half-hour. A 10-point lead with 20 seconds? That's 20 minutes. Foul, time-out, foul, time-out... it could easily go into overtime, and that's another hour. That's show biz, Lindsay!  

Yesterday, we watched this endless evolution in the NFL playoffs. The Pats and Chiefs, like the Rams and Saints, waged defensive wars for three quarters. Then everything turned into three-on-three basketball, with teams scoring at will. At several points, you wondered why coaches didn't order runners to NOT score touchdowns; they'd be better off downing the ball on the one-inch line and running down the clock. 

I'm not sure how this came about. In football, some of it stems from well-meaning rule changes to protect QBs and receivers. Some of it is fatigue; by the fourth quarter, defenses are gassed. Some is the ability of modern offensive coaches - (excluding the Giants) - to figure out and defeat defensive strategies. But in the fourth quarter, no defense can hold anybody. If a team gets the ball with 90 seconds left, that's a gimme. The only question is whether the other offense will get it with enough time to run down the field and score.

If you were scripting this, every game would lead to the final play, to the unforgettable climax. If you were scripting this... 

13 comments:

13bit said...

Good piece, Duque.

By that token, why not just have baseball games come down to one at-bat per team? NFL games could come down to one set of downs. In politics, as others have said, the two opponents could just get in a cage and duke it out.

That being said, ask me if I care about the NFL. The AFL was fun to watch. These obese dudes don't do it for me. I will be rooting for The Rams, only because Tom Brady is the devil.

Anonymous said...

Sadly what you wrote is true. I watch sports because of its non contrived "purity" Yesterday, after watching both losing teams get jobbed, that concept took a real hit for me.

As to watching the Yankees. You could always do what I do. Watch it on DVR. Skip all commercials and pitching changes. Skip the 4th inning where our starters inevitably fall apart. Skip any at bat that is an automatic out or Stanton with two strikes. If the Yankees are behind by more than a run skip all the other teams at bats. That get's it down to an hour and a half.

And last... if the Yankees are up by four by the second inning turn the game off. It is a loss. They will not score again and give it away in the 5th.

Doug K

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


Watching baseball: I've been unable to sit in front of a TV and "watch" a Yankees game ever since Mazeroski hit that goddamn HR. I was almost 7 years old then.

However, thanks to all of the replays, you can have the ballgame "on" the TV (or on your computer) with the sound -- and listen with 25% of your attention, while you do other things.

If the sound rises, it means something happened. I usually then look up to see the thing happen (again). God bless the replay!

---

By the way, I am unable to figure out why (in them morning-after report show featuring the good-looking babe) MLB.com shows so many replays of Home Runs. All of the action in a HR happens in the brains of the pitcher, catcher, and hitter. What matters (among other things) --

-- the count
-- the # of players on the bases
-- how many outs
-- the score
-- what the hitter did last time he saw this pitcher (even if it was 6 weeks ago, or last year)
-- what the hitter "likes" (he likes it up-and-in, I'm gonna throw it low and away)
-- what the pitcher thinks he is able to do today (heck, the catcher says throw it low and away, but my shit is drifting over the plate)
-- what the pitcher is actually doing today. Yogi reminded us: "You know, a pitcher who is wild can be wild throwing the ball right over the plate." (or something like that)
-- what the umpire IS calling a strike, and what he is not
-- is the wind blowing out? not blowing? blowing in? blowing left-to-right?
-- if the hitter is comfortable or not. Is he farting around with his stance this week, because he's below the Gary Sanchez line? You probably can throw him anything
-- where the defense is playing the guy (another freaking shift on a LH pull hitter -- you'd have to be a little botz to throw it outside)
-- whether the pitcher seems (to himself) on the verge of being pulled by the manager. Is there someone warming up in the bullpen?
-- what the pitching coach said to the pitcher before the inning started. "Our bullpen is shot to shit, you've got to give us some innings today, stud."
-- how the pitcher generally handles pressure. We're looking at YOU, Sonny Gray, at least when you have the ball on the mound in the Bronx.
-- how close the pitcher is to being send down. Is there a guy in AAA giving "call me up" signs to the GM?
-- is it April or September? Is your team contending or out of the pitcher? Are you, the pitcher, 22 and trying to make it, or 36 and trying to sustain something?

And more.

Now, all of this is not really knowable to ME when I watch a game. Almost all of it (not even the damn count) is NOT in the commentary from the MLB babe before announcing a homer. You don't really get much of this from John and Suzyn, I don't think.

HOW THE HECK DO YOU APPRECIATE BASEBALL, THEN? The most fun I had at ballgames was in a late-1990s series between the Yankees and the Orioles. I lived in MD (in the D.C. area). I worked for a living, but I managed to put together friends (and tickets) to see every one of a 4-game series.

Even then, the most observable things were: (a) the Orioles' players did not seem to give a flying F*** about what was going on; (b) the Yankees' players knew they had these patsies cold, and did things like hustling, running out every ground ball.

Yankees swept. That was great. But when it came to appreciating the game itself, there was no substitute for 4 games in a row, live, right in front of me.

Sorry to be so long-winded. You all touched on one of my "things"....

JM said...

Joe, you have neatly explained how complicated baseball really is. Nicely done.

The NBA is the only league (so far) who has taken the "just watch the end" concept to its final conclusion: do not watch ANY regular season games, and you can even skip the first two rounds (at least) of the playoffs. This leaves you with a reasonable number of games to watch, especially if you only watch the last few minutes of each one that's reasonably close by the time you tune in. Those last few do drag on, as Duque said, but at least it's bearable in the larger scheme of things. Kind of.

I never watch basketball anymore so I don't even do that. NFL officiating is a joke at this point. Did the officials strike at some point, replaced by guys off the street who would work for beer money? Is that what's happened? It's disgraceful.

Almost as bad as baseball umps and the pitches they call (or don't call) strikes in a lot of games.

Bring on the robots.

Elon M said...

Yes, the bots. Right on, John!

Anonymous said...

Joe FOB,

Excellent points. Baseball is contextual. That's what makes it great.

John M,

I can't watch basketball either. I think I read somewhere that the NBA came up with a pay TV package that gives you access to the last 10 minutes of every game or something like that. (Seriously) How telling is that?

The Golden Goose's head is on the chopping block.

Doug K.

13bit said...

Joe, FOB - great post. Thanks. Maybe I need to re-watch the first few episodes of Ken Burns' Baseball documentary and try to regain some of the innocence that I have lost.

KD said...

The League wanted Brady to win. I knew before I saw the flag that his interception with less than one minute to play would be called back. Sure enough. Stopped watching at that point.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I very much doubt if the NFL wanted Brady or any other particular person to win.

It's not like the World Series. Super Bowl Sunday is like a national holiday in America now. When it comes to ratings now, I' sure the NFL is much more concerned that there is no living, major rock star left who has yet to play halftime (I think), and that the commercials have so sucked in recent years.

The pass interference non-call in New Orleans, though, was SO blatant that I would investigate the recent financials of the refs.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm not a Patriots fan, either. But...SUSTAINED EXCELLENCE!

I gotta say, they came into that game thoroughly prepared, and for much of it completely outplayed a younger, more athletic team.

Pats had TWICE as any first downs as the Chiefs, and outgained them, 524 to 290 yards.

Yeah, a couple calls went their way, but a couple didn't—there was a catch in that 4th quarter that was ruled no catch. Also, KC would not even have been in the game if the Pats had not, in a rare brain freeze for Belichick, run a key 4th-and-1 play right into the line, and if there had not been a fluke interception.

HoraceClarke66 said...

NE-KC game was won on brains.

How in the name of Hank Stram does Andy Reid—having watched film all week of the Pats game against the Chargers—win the coin toss...then give up the football to Brady to start the game????

Several hours later, the Pats were up 7-0, and Mahomes and the KC offense were half-frozen on the sideline. Great choice, Andy!

Belichick outcoached this moax all night long. I would not bet against him in the Super Bowl.

KD said...

The KEY secret to the Pats' success is to draft heavily out of Rutgers. weird but true.

but, yeah. what a great, great ownership/management/everything NE has. That little town, The "Athens" of America, has a lot to be boastful about, sports-wise. You'd need to be an idiot to bet against this Brady Bunch.

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