5:45 a.m.: Rise and shine at Trump Tower! Post insightful IT IS HIGH blog analysis on what's wrong with first-place Yankees. 6:02 a.m.: Flee Secret Service crackdown on vagrants.
7 a.m.: Arrive at Good Morning America, ready to discuss how recent Emergency Juju Intervention resulted in 10-1 Yankee streak.
7:45 a.m.: Headed to hospital after ejection from ABC by Michael Strahan.
8 a.m.: En route to E.R., tossed from Uber after argument over why Yanks should have signed Bryce Harper.
9:14 a.m.: Arrive at City Hall to receive ceremonial Key to City.
9:20 a.m.: Treatment for key stab wounds after being repeatedly jabbed by Mayor.
10 a.m.: Arrive to ring opening bell at NY Stock Exchange.
10:25 a.m.: Flee Wall Street after rant about JA Happ causes market crash.
11 a.m. Meet with Yankee GM Brian Cashman to discuss his incompetence and offer suggestions.
11:15 a.m.: Cab to Emergency Room after being beaten by Cashman, Randy Levine, Hal Steinbrenner and Larry Rothschild.
1 p.m.: Meet in Yankee Stadium bleachers with IT IS HIGH brethren.
1:30 p.m.: By rousing the crowd with special Juju cheers, gain attention of announcer John Sterling.
1:35 p.m.: Ejection from stadium by ushers, security, bystanders, YES announcers, plus Yankee players and bat-wielding wives.
5 p.m.: On crutches, board bus to Syracuse.
8 p.m.: Disembark in Utica, after argument with bus driver over why Clint Frazier is still in Scranton.
11 p.m.: Hitchhike home. Stay up late writing furious blog post, outlining everything that first-place Yankees are doing wrong. A perfect day!
Posts
24 comments:
Will there be a live (video) feed from within the stadium in order to allow the international segment of readers and/or contributors to participate in the festivities during their supper.
Secondly, where will the party be seated so that we can watch you scrambling for fouls or homeruns.
Please, do fight. If not able to antagonate the rest of the crowd, just start a group brawl
Thank you!
Yes! A group brawl would help us pick you out in the crowd. I'm sure you'll be able to find some guy wearing a Boston hat. Steal it and then beat him.
If I were coming I’d like to sit behind our glorious leader to offer soothing neck/shoulder rubs during tense game action. It’s the least a minion could do.
Have fun you guys and don’t fight over proximity to duque!
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
Ferken thou Hal!
I seriously contemplated quitting my job today to come join the festivities. Have fun guys and gals!
Yankee Shamus
Ok, Who's compiling Duque's bail money?
There’s a dead seagull on my street. I wonder if that’s an auspicious sign? Who is our starting pitcher today? I have to walk the dog, drink my gallon of coffee, give him another quick walk and then start out for this day of destiny. I predict at least 70 posts in this thread today. I predict no photos, so as to protect the innocent. I predict a lot of fucked up syntax and typos because I will be talking into my Contraption. I predict that I must get back to this sacred and holy dog walk. Later
I have already cursed out four joggers and 25 pedestrians.
Bitty, Paxton. As in Pax Romana. Maybe Pax Yankeetorum. I forget my forms.
The morning news is reporting traffic is very light today.
Coincidence?
I think not!
"There’s a dead seagull on my street."
So, you're bringing lunch?
Big Maple, eh? At least we'll have something to talk about.
Clearing the decks. Hound lying in his one spot of sunlight on the floor of the Bat Cave. Finishing emails. Going to do another walk and then blast off in a little bit. T-minus 75 minutes until liftoff. Going to meet T. Shirts on an undisclosed subway platform and hope that we can make it through the asteroid belt in midtown as we hurtle towards destiny.
and yes, Rufus, gull kebab for all...
Rufus,
You should bring it. And then throw it on the field after a home run, starting a new tradition like those people who bring octopi to the Detroit Red Wings games.
Doug K.
For those of us who plan to chow down at the concession stands, I'd suggest bringing extra underwear. It's always a wise move.
35 MINUTES TILL EJECTION....
HAHA...GREAT STUFF MR. DUQUE.
BRING HOME THE VICTORY!
STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILI DOGS 13 BIT!
This ^^^
The game is on MLB Network today. I expect to see a ‘Moon Chris Davis’ movement at some point during the game
Here is a theory for you guys to discuss.
I think that Aaron Judge has stopped taking his, "Supplement" because of all the lat issues. This would have three main effects.
1) Loss of power.
2) Loss of bat speed
3) Loss of confidence in his "normal" swing.
Doug K.
Doug...shhhhh
Amazing day. I laughed as continuously as I did through this Duque post. Great fun, and loved meeting everyone.
My favorite part? Discovering that The Warbler was every bit as hot as she's said she USED to be! Used to be, nothing! And very handsy, too, not that I'm complaining!
Yes Doug...don't let that out...
The only way to track our activity is to put a Go-Pro in the nesting seagulls!
It was a great outing indeed!
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