"One of us, one of us!"

Last night, one of the Knights of the Press Box asked Ma Boone whether Mike Ford had tweaked something when he had to stretch for a ball at first late in the game.

No, Ma told the pressman.  In fact, Boone added, looking a little baffled, Ford had been surprised when asked if he was okay.

Weird, huh?  But it's true:  Mike Ford has a normal, human body, the kind that does not rip or tear when you make the slightest sudden or unusual movement.

This may be hard for modern management to understand, but you see, Mike's body is much like ours, in that it does NOT come completely apart and require ten days' bedrest when, say, we have to run for a bus or reach for something on an upper shelf.

Later, on SNY's Sportsnite, they were making fun of his physique.

That's right.  Mike Ford probably CAN NOT bench press 500 pounds.  He is not built like a professional bodybuilder, or a weightlifter or a middle linebacker because...get ready, here's the big reveal...he is NOT a bodybuilding or a weightlifter or a linebacker.

Mike Ford is a baseball player, whose duties include being able to show up ready to play everyday for a good six months or more.  If he's good enough, he will, it is to be hoped, do this year in and year out.

Sure, there's plenty of fat there.  Like that in all of us human beings, it gurgles and rolls with each movement, falling back more or less in place.

All around it, assorted tendons, ligaments, and muscles stretch and rebound gently, never having been fine-tuned to the snapping point on a routine catch or slide, or even a hard swing.

Mike Ford may never provide us with the production that a Giancarlo Stanton will—though I would say, considering the amount of time that Mr. Stanton has already spent on the EL in his career, this is an even-money proposition.

But I think we can rest assured that no one is ever going to tell us that Mike Ford is "still far from resuming baseball activities."  He's too busy doing human being activities.

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US...