1. We lost.
2. You know it's hopeless when, by the 7th, the YESsers are gobbling about the stable of Olympian stars in injury rehab.
3. Wait a minute. Did they say The Martian, Jasson Dominguez, will soon launch a rehab? Where would they put him, if he goes on a tear?
4. Juan Soto in first slump of Yankee era. Hitless in three games. (Though he's hit liners.) Should he be added to Zone of Death? (TM)
5. If so, Zone of Death (in yellow) went 1-for-18 yesterday. It's a wonder we scored two runs.
6. Nice for Yanks to help Randy Arozarena out of miserable spring slump. Best thing about playing Tampa was watching him struggle. He was the one star the Rays didn't trade, and his value was steadily failing. Until yesterday...
7. Yanks pick great location to witness rare Northern Lights even across North America: Tampa, Florida, inside domed stadium. Hope they brought their eclipse glasses (along with earplugs, to stifle obnoxious sound effects.)
8. Stanton resting. Bye Bye Berti bats 5th. Brain worm?
9. If/when Cole returns, could Nasty Nestor be the starter to lose his slot?
10. Not that it mattered, but Gulf of Tonkin Incident pitched a scoreless inning, was best out of bullpen on a miserable day. Escalation of U.S. path to war?
11. Fuck. Roger Corman died.
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69 comments:
RIP Mr. Corman.
In his honor I will only say nice things today about Cashman and Boone, the two biggest boobs I know.
Duque? Is Keefe ghost writing your columns?
Oh wow, Roger Corman? Another great one is gone.
As for ugly takeaways, how about:
11. The Master remains retired
12. Mariano grew too old to pitch
13. A pool of maudlin, mawkish nostalgia is guaranteed drowning
14. I stand by my prediction of under 80 wins. I don't care if they win 90, I'm right.
15. There's a crane outside my window and I have no explosives
Very nice, Doug.
In a similar vein, I'd like to point out that Nestor's storybook career may be going tits up.
Yeah, more crappy playing, lousy pitching, lousy hitting, lousy base running. How many times this year are they going to run themselves out of an inning, taking the bat out of the hands of Soto or Judge? I count three in just the last week, two where Soto would've been up with at least two on, and one where Judge would've been up with bases loaded. All down the drain with headless baserunning. Straight out of the Boone School of Baseball, where the #1 rule seems to be: Minimize your wins, in all possible ways.
Didn't know about Roger Corman's death. That's too bad. R.I.P.
Have lots of Roger Corman's movies on dvd or blueray. Including the Vincent Price classics Masque of the Red Death and Fall of the House of Usher.
If you're looking for sleaze, he made some of the best as well. The Wild Angels with Peter Fonda has one of the all time best soliloquys ever filmed in the church funeral scene.
And Gabrielle Monique in Deathstalker II has one of the greatest sex scenes ever filmed (that was NOT a porno flick). And Barbarian Queen is no slouch either, with enough groin kicking to make a NYC dominatrix proud. If those movies don't get a rise out of you, you'd better check yourself for a pulse. Death Race 2000, with plenty more hotties. And did I say Gabrielle Monique was hot?
Oooooh you're rock candy babay
You're hard, sweet and stickay
Hard sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt
and stickayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
They have something called the Roger Corman Sword and Sorcery Collection on dvd. That's the one to get with three good ones: Deathstalker I and II, Barbarian Queen.
I’ve never understood the whole “rest in peace” idea.
I mean, how else? You’re dead. There’s nothing more peaceful. And what’s the alternative? Rest in anguish? Rot in hell?
This team will eventually regress to its rightful place in abject mediocrity.
R.I.P
Rest in peace may be stupid, Dick, but it's better than Rest in Peoria.
I hadn’t heard about Roger Corman. As a lover of Indie Cinema, I was well acquainted with his no-nonsense , no frills approach. His output was nothing short of staggering. You could create an entire streaming channel with his films, and those he directly influenced,
Dick,
I believe the opposite of rest in peace is indeed rot in hell. My preferred destination for ca$hole, except I'd probably see him there.
And I'll add it beats rest in Philadelphia.
@ DickAllen, I think the idea of R.I.P. pertains to the soul and how, sometimes, it cannot rest in peace.
The ancient Greeks thought a corpse had to be burned on a funeral pyre with a coin under its tongue. Otherwise, the soul was condemned to wander the earth for eternity, unable to pay the ferryman, Chyrun, for the passage to the far side of the river Styx, where the gates of Hades awaited.
In the rural areas of eastern Europe, and in Transylvania in particular, the people are exceedingly superstitious. To this day, they still dig up bodies that they believe are not resting in peace (vampyres, to use the old style spelling), and stake the hearts and cut off the heads. Suicides are thought to become vampyres after death. They cut out the heart and burn it at a crossroads. I've even heard that the victim of such a vampyre must then eat the charred remains of the heart, but I have not confirmed that.
As for #3, the Martian could easily take the roster spot of John Grisham, or David Grisman, or Clark Griswold, or whatever his name is.
Days back I posting a link to the final scene of Roger Corman’s The Man With X-ray Eyes. It was meant to be a pro-tip to Gleyber.
For the record and just to clear the air - that had nothing to do with Mr Corman’s passing.
Thank you all for your understanding.
Also, this week is when MLB.tv drops its prices by 50%.
Thank you, America and Mothers everywhere.
Interesting facts, Hammer!
And hey, I have to admit, my "big toe" remark about Cashie was a reference to the film.
At the end of a splendid, harrowing scene set at 21, Burt tells Tony about a senator who he has flattered by saying, "You may want to be president some day," "President! My big toe would make a better president!"
Little Tony may be OK in leadoff.
Thanks for the info, Hammer. Didn't the practice of putting pennies on the eyes of the corpse also stem from the ferry over the Styx myth?
Old rock fans, please note: this has nothing to do with Bryan Ferry or the overblown band named for the river.
Trevino!!
Is it Jahmai Jones or Jahyour Jones? Maybe it's Jahtheir Jones.
These are like Neil Walker or Mike Tuschman home runs--pleasantly surprising.
(Not to be nostalgic for 2018-2019)
Judge!!!
Now we have a concerning lead.
Only the fifth inning. Santana and Ferguson will be coming in, nothing is assured.
I wonder if Tonkin is available? That would be a classic Boone choice.
Good to see some production at the bottom of the order.
"The Man With X-ray Eyes", now THERE'S a movie ending that used to terrify and gag me when I was a kid! And it seemed like it played twice a month! AA, thanks for the gaggery!
That was a rough scene, but I've always felt bad that Ray Milland had sunk to that level. I guess it was B movies, Burke's Law, and Columbo by that point. Pretty good actor.
Kevin - and Ray Milland brought his A-game for Corman.
Now you have to answer the Hammer actress question I asked you yesterday.
Grand slam off Ferguson. Where's Santana?
Boone finds more ways to lose than any manager I can remember. His choices suck.
Again, I ask, why are Ferguson and Santana and Tonkin even on the roster? We have better in Scranton.
Excuse me for asking: Was there anything EVER more predictable than the NYYs yielding a grand salami when ahead 6-to-0?
Our great, league-leading bullpen, ladies and gentlemen.
Turd living up to his name
Strikes. Ever heard of them?
Ferguson pitches like the permanent doofy look on his face suggests he would.
Warren and Marinara are in the minors while these clowns are in the bigs. Insanity.
Oh fuck. Gleyber.
Well, who'd a thunk it?
Gleyber day!!
Torres?…
Trade him now, while you can!
Funny because it's true, Rufus.
No way! Jose!
FUCKING FUCKWAD TAMPONS!!!!!@
Drill the next one right through the pitcher's teeth
Too much time has passed, Roofus. They missed their opportunity..
We're up by five, Boonie. Bring in Santana and Tonkin.
The sign behind home plate says Hooters is the original wing joint. Do they mean water wings?
Their wings are terrible. Popcorn shrimp not bad. When I was working in Atlanta, if we hit scheduled target dates, I used to take the welders to the one where Chipper Jones's baby mama worked on Friday for lunch. We never went back to work.
Never visited a Hooters.
And Hamilton gives up a gopher.
Unless the Yanks blow it, the bad news for the day is the Gleyber HR.
Thuuuuuuuuh Yankees win!
Yeah, Steve, the big new contract got a little closer with that.
Knicks getting buried today. Yikes.
As Meatloaf sang, Two out of Three ain’t bad…
No Anunoby, Randle, Bogdanovic, Robinson. Brunson flailing. Maybe it's best they bow out now before they get pummeled by Boston in the conference finals. It would have been nice to see them make it to the finals, though.
AA, sorry I must have missed the question. Why, it would Have to be Caroline Munro!
Ray Milland was a great actor who had to take really roles once his looks faded. Kind of what happens to most us going into bars as the years pass... Kinda surprising that many men don't end up going into revival tents, and as the phrase about body parts being offensive, knives being drawn out and slicing off the "offending" member ". Ralph Bakshi could have gotten away with such a scene.😰
AA, I just got a fresh look at Ingrid Pitt, I had almost forgotten about her. OKAY, can we call it a draw. BTW, I went to IMBD.com to look up Ingrid, she was in "The Wicker Man". IMBD had an advertisement on the 2013 of Wicker Man in 4K, fully restored. I saw it over thirty years ago, all I can remember were naked lasses writhing around. The remake seems to have captured that same spirit. I just might have to check it out, all in the name of cinematic restoration, naturally.
I'm working and I missed the game but Thuhuhuhuh Yankees won a couple of hours ago!
Knicks are dead, but no disgrace. Just not enough bodies. They should really plan for next year, when they could be great.
We only saw the Brunson/Randle/Anunoby triumvirate for one month in January before two of them went down, and the Knicks might have been the best team in basketball for that short duration. A whole season of those three together, and it's not crazy to hope for 55-60 wins.
Fair enough, Kevin.
That's why I included both of them.
I am thinking of the rule about never asking a parent which child they like best.
A coworker many moons ago had only 3 numbers in his pulchritude rating system.
There was the binary scale 1 or 0? -- would you or wouldn't you. (They're all 10s when the gun goes off)
The only other rating was 7 -- the number of Clydesdales required to pry her off my face.
By August, it'll be "Top Ten Takeaways for Why We All Fell for Lucy and the Football AGAIN"
Year after year The Brain talks about getting "younger and more athletic". Presumably that would mean a better defense, better base running, less injuries, and a cheaper team. I try and be a fair man. Over the past five plus years we are consistently near the bottom in all the important fielding metrics, stolen bases and extra bases taken (Gardner would probably still be our best all around base runner), our team is always on the brink of being gutted like a fish with injuries, thin up the middle in depth (amazing since the team drafts up the middle players for the past two decades), thin at first base (?!), skating on thin ice in the bullpen, play amazingly poor baseball, in spite of being a veteran, highly paid team.
Pluses include we have a few possible difference makers at AA & AAA, and every source that I can lay my hands on claim that we are absolutely LOADED with talent in the FCL. Well, we'll just have to wait and see how THAT plays out. Is Luis Gil a budding superstar, kinda like Thirty came seemingly out of nowhere to save the year? Getting ahead of myself there, but... But we do have talent which will be coming off the DL, Cole of course, but potentially (well, before injuries) some very talented bullpen arms. I hate to put it like this, but The Martian just might be able to take Station's job when the injury comes.
I didn't intend on writing so long, but I saw something the other day that really made me think about the level of baseball that the Yankees generally play. I had stopped into some sports bar for lunch, and on screen was a girl's collegiate softball game. It was a strange experience. On every single ball that was hit the defender knew without looking where to run with the ball, even where to throw the fucking thing! It, it was almost as though they were in a time distortion field in which they were a couple of seconds ahead of the action!!! Where these girls gifted with limited but very useful precognition? And not only that, but the Talent seemed to extend to running the bases!!!!! Is there a quantum physicist in the house who can explain what I seemed to observe?
Preach, Kevin!
What you're observing and describing is known in astrophysics as "The Cashman Singularity."
You can't explain supernatural forces and men of genius with mere words.
We just need to bask in his genius and trust that he'll once again deliver what he has not failed to deliver for over 20 years.
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