Friday, October 12, 2012

Reverse Negative Juju Dispatch from Alphonso

(Received this morning at IIHIIFIIc headquarters. This represents Alphonso's most powerful juju, the reverse negative-charged Rizzutonic particle. Please recognize that everything he says is being said for a reason.)

I'm not in a position where I can post to the blog today, and won't be until after we get shut-out tonight.

But a few points:

1. A-rod and Granderson must not play tonight. Granderson can pinch run if we need that in extra innings, but only after everyone else but Rodriguez is used.

2. Just like the earlier heroic home runs of Brosius and Tino, Raul's homers will become a meaningless footnote, rather than game and season saving blasts. Sad and tragic, again.

3. This collapse signals the end of an era for the Yankees.

4. Based upon this collapse and, knowing we have no talent anywhere and greedy billionaire heirs who want the money for Republican Party Lunacy rather than for winning, Cashman leaves. Frankly, I don't care. In recent years, his decisions have been not just awful, but irresponsible.

5. Derek should retire. He was brilliant and carried the team when no one else showed up. He won't, of course, and it will be painful to watch. Not that he will embarrass himself, but the Yankees will each year battle Toronto for the cellar.

6. Same for Andy. He'll never see another playoff game in pinstripes.

You just know they will try to do this again next season with the same guys. Buoyed by the return of Pineda, Gardy, Feliciano and a renewed Joba.

It won't work.

Sent from my iPhone


George's Ghost said...

Do list, if we lose tonight:
-terminate A-Fraud's contract, accusing him of violating morals clause
-get Melky C. to claim A-Fraud supplied his HGH
-fire Girardi
-get rid of Granderson and Swisher, Mr. June and Mr. September
-Sign Ichiro and Melky C.; next year's outfield: Gardner, Ichiro, Melky C., because Billy says speed never slumps
-sign Hamilton to 10-yesr contract to be our DH; when he stops hitting we'll terminate it for violating moral clause-won't even have to set him up for this
-hire Bobby V to manage next year

Do list if we win tonight:
-send case of Captain Morgan to Miguel Cabrera's hotel room

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Agree on A-rod. I vote to release him before the ALCS.

The Grandyman just made you look like a fool though.