Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Redsock fans cap perfect season with the rise of Marco Scutero

Some cross-dressing toadies throughout the Yankiverse - (by "cross-dressing," I mean they wear Met clothes) - want to gobblegobblegobble how 2012 was a success, how we won the division and hit a bunch of home runs, how we obtained Chris Stewart and watched Jason Nix bloom into a major league backup. Hoooo-ray.

Here in Yankee Reality Land, we measure success by championship rings or - in a pinch - complete Redsock crappings of thy bed. Don't gemmie wrong. I'll take a ring over even the kind of Redsock collapse that makes the Mayans disappearance look minor. But this year's Boston crapdown was truly exquisite. Those guys came through for us.

I'd given up expecting more. I figured when they botched those final games in New York - letting us beat Baltimore - we had crushed the last brown marrow from their sniveling, polished white bones. I was wrong.

I didn't see Marco Scutero becoming the MVP of the NLCS and the poster boy of plucky undersized ballplayers everywhere. He could have made a fine 2B in Boston, if not for the presence of Teacher's Pet. So Scutero got scrapped, and now he's Mr. October.  (Actually, that should be Nick Swisher's nickname. You with me?)

Once again, Boston represents the gift that keeps on giving. As we watch George Kontos, Austin Jackson and Phil Coke play in the World Series - (while we send Curtis Granderson out to have his eyes checked, his eyes checked!) - it's nice to know the Redsocks will be there next year. And with Big Papi, too! On a two-year deal! Yayyyyyy.

Funny, but when Boston talked about overhauling their team with youth, I didn't see David Ortiz hanging around until 2014. Maybe he and Grandy will get new glasses. I'm seeing 400 strikeouts between the pair of them.


Tom from GA said...

You raise an interesting existential question: Should we enjoy Yankee success more or less than Boston failure. Of course, in a perfect and symmetrical world, the Yankees win it all and Boston comes in last. Short of that, one might say that it's always fun when the Yankees win the World Series; no matter how good the Socks did, they will have ended the season on a disappointing note while we enjoy a dogpile and a Champagne shower. Failing Steinrobber's childish win-it-all-every-year imperative, which is certainly the fan's hope but not the demand we make of our teams, we must acknowledge that we have probably just completed a two-year Golden Age of Boston sucking. It would have been difficult to imagine how the Socks could have improved on 2011, with its fried chicken, beer and epic collapse. But then they hired the wild and wonderful Bobby V., a buffoon for the ages. Sadly, they have just hired a reasonable man to be manager, and they got rid of most of their biggest idiots during the season. We've still got Pedroia and Ortiz and Lackey to kick around, but the Redsocks are going to be rebuilding. Any success they enjoy will be perceived as overachieving, spunky even. Meanwhile, the Yankees will be a year older, a step slower and unwilling to spend their way out of the crisis. I fear that the tables may soon be turned, and I will be rooting harder for Boston to lose because Yankee hopes will already be dashed..

el duque said...

Yeah, it's hard to imagine Boston getting any lower. This was their 1927 Yankees of mediocrity. But at least they do have Papi coming back. I really feared that we would go after him. The old Steinbrenner probably would have.

But they could sign Kuroda, Melky Cabrera and maybe a firstbaseman, and we could be in their rearview mirror by June.

Tom from GA said...

That's a terrible thought: The Melkman delivering for Boston. I hope he's still considered too toxic the pure-as-the-driven-snow geniuses up there.

el duque said...

Elie Weisel said if mankind can imagine an evil, it can bring it about.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Tom from GA: You forgot the appetizer that made the sawx suckitude all the more delicious -- the fact that they were supposed to be the


el duque said...

Oh, those were the times.