Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Next year, Grandy's new look could be quite the style-setter

The Yankees are sending Curtis Granderson to get his eyes examined. In some circles, 200 strikeouts are viewed as a sign of blindness. Who knew? Maybe last week, the Grandyman was seeing the 1963 Dodgers pitching staff. It was all a blur to him.

So, now he'll go recite an eye chart. This has to be the best Yankee news since Dellin Betances threw a walkless inning in Arizona. (Note: I'm not sure whether Dellin Betances has thrown a walkless inning in Arizona. I was just stretching for something that sounded like good news.) If Grandy returns next year, he'll be the new Grandy, the office worker nerd Grandy, maybe sporting  a pair of Versace frames!

But the question is, should he come back? Frankly, I'm tired of guys with limitless potential turning into homer-happy swingers. I know it's easier said than done, but if Grandy cut down his swing - hit 20 less home runs and hit 40 batting average points higher - he would double his stolen bases. He could be the complete player that Austin Jackson is becoming.

On second thought, I like this Tony Burch look.
 What is it with NY that turns players into cardboard cutouts? By mid-September, I was starting to view  a Grandy home run as a negative. It simply re-established in his mind that he could homer his way out of a terrible slump. I thought he was smarter than that. I though he had shown the 2011 critics he was capable of adjusting, and that he wouldn't turn into Jack Cust. I was wrong.

Hmm. Maybe the Kate Spade look. When Grandy smiles, the pitchers won't know what hit them.

So now 200 strikeouts later - the third straight season that his whiff totals increased - someone decides to have his eyes examined? Well, if I have to see the Grandyman flailing again in 2013, I might want to pluck my eyes out. He either comes back as a different player, or they should trade him for a chicken wing. Whomever plays CF - even Chris Dickerson - will hit 20 home runs, and we wouldn't miss the extra 20.

The Yankee march to Number 28 continues! From whatever vantage point he watches, at least Grandy should be able to see the trail. The devil wears Prada. Maybe so will the outfielder.


Urkel said...


brian gashman said...

Dear Alphonso,
You were right.

Pineda won't be ready until June of 2013