Sunday's conversation about A-Rod. (Hat tip to Anonymous for reminding me.)
"In 10 years they will discover a drug called Festeris that will make everyone amazons.”
On behalf of the Yankiverse, I would like to say: W.T.F.?
This goes down as one of Sterling's most cryptic quotes ever, even beyond his love of Tab Hunter's autobiography. "Festeris?" What can it mean. Being an award-winning investigative journalist by trade, I googled it. There are a few Facebook pages to people whose last names are Festeris. There is a Belgium band called The Whodads, which in 2000 put out a song called the Bongo Festeris.
Anonymous asked if it could be a show tune reference? (You know, like, "There's NO festeris like SHOW festeris there's No festeris I know...") Beats me. But top Sterlingologists do know this: A lot of 1960s cultural images rattle around inside The Master's head.
There was Uncle Fester on Addams Family. Is there an episode where, perhaps, he conjured or created Amazons? There was a Festus character on Gunsmoke. Ken Curtis played him. Could John have simply misspoke - meant Festus, instead of Festeris?
No. John is a professional announcer. The Master did not misspeak.
A drug called Festeris that will make everybody amazons. Was he suggesting Suzyn should be juicing? Is A-Rod becoming a woman? Will enhanced pharmaceuticals allow each of us to become mighty, sports-bra-wearing warriors? Festeris.
What did he mean?