Thursday, February 21, 2013

Why I'm Not Going to Spring Training This Year

Good morning and welcome.  I have imbibed for most of this freezing day in the northeast, and feel I have wisdom to impart.

I am not going to Tampa this spring for the following reasons;

1.  Yukelis is wearing a Yankee uniform.
2.  Hughes already has back problems.
3.  Adams ( a kid who can actually hit and play defense ) is out with another injury, and will not be seen in training camp.
4.  Montgomery ( a AA pitcher, aged 22, with an amazing, Guidry-like cutter ) is down with an injury, and won't be seen in training camp.
5.  None of the 38 ( in age ) plus players will see the field before the games count, due to potential injury
6.  No one else on the team matters, including:
7.  Pineda is not ready for another 6 months, minimum.
8.  Bettances is, I think, finished as a player.
9.  Banuelos is packing groceries on some island.
10.  Robbie Cano, who was 3- 45 in post season, is awaiting a 10 year deal at $25 million per season.  Personally, I say let him go to the free agent pool.  I said the same about A-Rod 5 years ago.  We all know how that worked out.  In two seasons, Nunez will be the second best player on the field, behind Cano.  We will be last, or next to last for a decade.  So why pay Cano?

Here is my prediction for 2013;  this is going to be an embarrassing year for the Yankees and for its fans.

P.S.  A-Rod is safely riding around NYC in his SUV limo, eating at fancy seafood restaurants.  His hip is right where it should be.

He just can't run, throw, or hit.


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John Sterling said...

Once again, Anonymous, you make a substantial (and eloquent) contribution to this blog. You've captured, I think, quite poignantly, Alphonso's dilemma, as the fortunes of the team weigh upon him heavily, like pizza stoneware hanging from his neck. I hadn't heard about this new rookie, Masonry Heaters, but it sounds like he has a live fastball, and clearly Alphonso will be glad to know that there is at least one young prospect worth our attention. Trust us that we (Suzyn & I, as well as Alphonso) will eat, consume and be merry despite these setbacks in Tampa.

el duque said...

But Alphonso,

How do you feel about Masonry heaters?

Mustang said...

I wish we had a "like" button.

Because I sure do like masonry heaters.

BernBabyBern said...

Hey, el Duque, I smell another poetry book in the posts of Anonymous.

Masonry Heaters RHP said...

Hey! Having a swell time here in Tampa, driving Mike Pineda back and forth from the baseball complex to A.A. meetings. I'll get the second start, right after David Phelps's opener. Wow, this is fun (though I'm disappointed that I can't find A-Rod to get his autograph on my glove).

Gary Sanchez said...

That punk ass rookie pitcher, Masonry Heaters, stole my batting helmet and sold it on E-Bay.

Masonry Heaters RHP (non-roster invitee) said...

Gee, I'm sorry, Mr. Sanchez, sir. But you weren't using it, were you?