Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Breaking News: Cashman and Malaysian air traffic authorities are both still searching

Happy Tanaka Night, Yankiverse! Put the kids and the relatives to bed early, and load up on the rum toddies, because it's that magical eve when Jolly Old St. Masahiro lands on the roof and tumbles into our lives, bearing gifts - such as a Yankee game without Preston Claiborne pitching in the fourth.   

Tomorrow, according to tradition, we'll wake up to find our bullpen fat and rested, and a newly cobbled "W" in our stockings. Tanaka is 6-0, with a regular season winning streak that stretches back to the days when the Grandy Man actually conjured hopes in New York. Good grief, was John Lindsay the mayor?  Was Brian Cashman even born?

Tomorrow, we return to the shaky reality of Chase Whitley, Vidal Nuno, David Phelps, and whomever gets shuttled from Scranton. (News flash: Bruce Billings passed waivers, so he's back on our bus!) We'll have the daily updates from Cashman, explaining that the History Channel reports of wild pitchers living in the backwoods of Kentucky remain unconfirmed. The Malaysian government has a better chance of finding Flight 370 than Cashman does of securing a starter on the current market.

But boosted by the joy of Tanaka Night, I sing of this hope.

Brian Gordon.

Did you know that Gordon, the 35-year-old mainstay of the Scranton staff, was leading the International League in innings pitched yesterday? It's true! 

According to Gordon's Wikipedia page:

His parents are Ernie Gordon, who grew up a Yankees fan in Hyde Park, New York, and Wendy Abrahamsen. They have since divorced. (Frankly, I think this is over-sharing.) His father was an Army engineer stationed at West Point when he was born, but the family moved to Round Rock, Texas. His mother works as a secretary for the Round Rock Express.

How can you not root for this guy?

In 2011, Gordon was having a great year with the Lehigh Valley Ironpigs. He opted out of his Phillies contract to save the Yankees' butts on a June afternoon when they had no starters whatsoever. He pitched into the sixth, gave up 2 runs, and the Yankees won in 12. (And he made history by becoming the first major leaguer ever to wear a non-leather glove. He's the Vegan's Choice!) He didn't last long as a Yankee. Bartolo Colon came off the DL, and they shipped him to Scranton. From there, he went to the Asian leagues.

Soon, we will celebrate Brian Gordon Day in the Yankiverse. Put the kids to bed early, and load up on the toddies. Let's cross our fingers for this guy. At 35, he should be able to get by on guile alone. But we might need extra rum.


KD said...

you had me until that bit about the non-leather glove. seems more of a California thing.

John M said...

Mariano used a milk carton for a glove when he was a kid, but that's because he was painfully poor.

The season hinges on Venditte now...