Wednesday, May 28, 2014

By Sunday, the Yankees must decide on Beltran and Teixeira

Top scientists for the Evil Empire - (Hail Hydra!) - postulate three string theory realities for the rest of 2014.

Yankiverse I: Carlos Beltran and Mark Teixeira return, hit 50 HRs and drive in 150 runs. The team challenges for first in the putrid AL East.

Yankiverse II: Either Beltan or Tex returns; the other craps out. The Empire finishes slightly above.500, enough to contend for the one-game wild card in Bud Selig's expanded, NBA-style, mediocrity-on-parade, 24-hour post-season.

Yankiverse III (Aka: Hell): Beltran and Tex are done, kaput, so long, suckahs. A revolving door of scrap heapers - from Kelly Johnson to Scott Sizemore - returns us to the days of Travis Hafner and Vernon Wells lore, and the 2014 Yankees become the worst team ever built, conceived or known by Brian Cashman.

By Sunday, we need to know which universe to expect.

By Sunday - (Hail Hydra!) - Beltran or Tex must come clean about his injury. If either goes into denial, and claims he can play - but can't - 2014 will be a washout. By Sunday, we must know.

Because Sunday is Kendry Morales Day in America.

Yeah, OK, I know what you're thinking: Another old fart? Jeeze, Duque, you can't be serious. Yes, we're all sick of the Yankees signing the Apple Dumpling Gang. And if Morales is seeking a Robbie Cano, long-term mega-deal, let's shake his insect-like feeler and wish the Kendryman luck. But starting Sunday, Morales can sign without costing us another draft pick. He is a switch-hitting 1B, the one guy who could lesson the blow of losing Beltran or Teixeira.

He can't compensate for the loss of both. In that case, the Yankiverse might as well move to Kansas City and write poetry about Dan Quisinberry. Our final option after Sizemore - who whiffs at a Grandyman-esque rate - might be Kyle "the Slow" Roller, a 240-pound storage unit at Scranton, who is having a great year. Last night, he hit his 12th HR. Who knows? Maybe Roller could lift the team in a Kevin Maas kind of way. But the Yankees never promote nobodies, and the truth is, every franchise in baseball has a variation of Kyle Roller, a too-old guy having a great year in a city known for anthracite, not baseball. We love those guys. They are part of baseball's legacy. But not many of them lead teams to pennants.

We have until Sunday to figure everything out. Until then... Hail Hydra.

3 comments:

bennyboy said...

Why sign Morales? Give Mike Ford a chance. Isn't it possible he's good? Remember, nobody in the organization wanted to bring up Cano in 2005.

John M said...

Jumping Ford from A to the bigs is quite a leap. But if he happens to fail and it doesn't screw up his head...sure. The younger guys are the best reason to watch this year. And an outfield of Gardner-Ellsbury-Ichiro is probably the fastest in baseball, which is also good if any of them get on base.

I wonder if Tanaka knew what he was getting into, and just decided to take the money, set some records, and screw it.

nicknowsky said...

Just got word from Yankees internal scouts, nobody in the farm is really ready to come up, only guy is Almonte and he's already here