Thursday, May 8, 2014

Highlights of upcoming "Syracuse University Day" at Yankee Stadium

On Saturday, June 21 - truly, the year's longest day - CNY turns into NYC, and Orange is the new Bronx... when Yankee Stadium becomes "The House That 'Cuse Built!"

Join top Syracuse celebrities - the politicians, car ad personalities and TV anchors - at Syracuse University Day 2014, when the Big Apple becomes Big Bill Orange, when Erie Boulevard becomes Broadway, when upstate goes downtown, when - aw, screw it - folks, this'll be huuuuuu-jah. The festivities include:

1. To honor SU's enduring sports legacy, Bleacher Creatures will take up the traditional Orange chant: "A.C.C... A.C.C..."

2. Top professors from various programs will attend game as they do their classes... via Skype!

3. Hiroki Kuroda invents new pitch: The Golden Snowball.

4. To end rhubarbs, SU's Maxwell School of Citizenship will announce "series of panel discussions to facilitate non-violent and constructive dialogues."

5. Base paths will be paved, painted green and renamed "Connective Corridors," at a public cost of merely $30 million!

6. SU alumni Mike Tirico, Bob Costas and Sean McDonough will receive a class in broadcast journalism from Professor John Sterling... driven by Jeep.

7. SU's robust, ever-alert Board of Trustees will lead the stadium in cheers of "LET'S GO METS!"

8. To honor the journalism legacy of famed SU mega-donor S.I. Newhouse, NYC newspapers will cut delivery to three days per week!

9. Carmelo Anthony and Tyler Ennis will attend the first inning, then leave for NBA.

10. Post-game Fraternity Challenge Puke-Off.

11. Ceremonial first suit-jacket will be thrown out by Jim Boeheim.

12. Stadium will be decked with orange-blue bunting - and 18-inches of snow!

13. To honor the Great New York State Fair: Yangervis Solarte Butter Sculpture!

14. Class of '14 Reunion/Job Fair, featuring retail and chain restaurant opportunities!

15. Yankee legend Alex Rodriguez to perform as Otto the Orange!

16. Insert your own Bernie Fine joke here. (Sorry, but I gotta live in this town.)

Shuttle buses to leave the Carrier Dome - renamed the Cellino & Barnes Personal Attorneys Dome - every 15 minutes. And don't forget! Fifteen minutes can save you a bundle on car insurance... 


Tom said...

And how is it that the Board of Trustees has not already run you out of town on a rail? Or at least buried you under one of their Connective Corridors?

el duque said...

I am a master of disguise.

ceeja said...

I heard that Syracuse was offering that degree.