Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Does Suzyn = Kim Basinger?

We've all seen The Natural. When Bob Redford gives in to temptation, he loses his mojo. He strikes out a lot. He sucks (my guess is, Kim Basinger's character was doing the same, but that's hearsay). 

The message is clear: Beware the femme fatale. Stay clean, stay pure of heart, have ice cream floats with Glenn Close and your son. It's the only way to succeed at America's greatest game.

Which brings us to last night. Tanaka wasn't going to go 24-0 this year. Impossible. At least, we assume it was impossible. He's not facing a bunch of Carp out there this season (well, the Cubs are a form of dead fish in a way, but whatever). And it was his second time facing the Cubs, who said that kind of helped.

But what really happened? Really? On the road, a guy gets lonely. There are only so many restaurants to go to, so many undressing chicks to bird-dog from the hotel roof (hiya, Mick!). 

At some point, a young man wants a little company. A little female companionship. And it doesn't hurt if it's someone you see every day. Someone you're familiar with. Someone you already like. Someone who maybe is staying in the same hotel as you.

Like, say, Suzyn.

I have no evidence, no proof that any shenanigans went on between her and our ace. The mere idea does boggle the mind and stretch credulity to new limits.

However. Just...however...

7 comments:

ceeja said...

What is this, the Karl Rove approach to sports reporting?

Plus, we all know that Jayson Nix is the one Susan really pines for -- and he lost whatever mojo he had when he left the Bronx.

KD said...

adjoining rooms at the hotel are very handy and discreet. just say'n...

Alphonso said...

What is the deal with the latest poll ? I heard nothing.

Maybe no one has and that is why only 6 votes are thus far cast.

?????

And tell me why Jacoby looks like crap at the plate these days.

KD said...

Jacoby doesn't look that hot in the field either. maybe the whole deal is a redsock trick. If I soon see an extended stay on the DL for Ells, I'm buying the conspiracy theory.

joe de pastry said...

I threw up after reading this.

John M said...

Thank you for that highest of compliments, Mr. de Pastry.

Suzyn's Bitch said...

Man, a girl gets caught coming out of Wade Boggs' hotel room ONE TIME, and they never let you forget it...