Wednesday, May 7, 2014

10 Things That Can Keep You Awake for West Coast Games

1. No Doz
2. Strong black coffee
3. Whiskey sours with lots of simple syrup
4. Meth
5. Porn
6. Hookers (kind of like 5a, but whatever)
7. A masochistic streak
8. A very accomodating partner or spouse (okay, kinda like 5b)
9. Photoshopping Suzyn's head on naked bodies (okay, 5c)
10. A cat scratching a blackboard for three and a half hours while your eyes are held open by that thing they used on Malcolm McDowell in "Clockwork Orange" with the creepy guy in a lab coat putting drops in your peepers

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so tired I forgot Brendan Ryan and Francisco Cervelli existed for a minute.

el duque said...

That's right: Brendan Ryan! Can't wait!

Anonymous said...

I'm usually awake for these games because I work at night. That may be 7a on the list.

Leinstery said...

Number 9 is a one way ticket to erection city.

Anonymous said...

Sucks almost as bad as a mustang post

John M said...

Crap, I forgot...one of those should've been listening to Anonymous spew bile in the next room ad infinitum.

Damn.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

11. The Yankees being ahead, at any point, in any inning.

seth said...

12. just move to the West Coast, where everything is better (except the bagels)