Thursday, September 4, 2014

Yankee fans can see bright future in September call-ups

Nothing soothes the Yankee fan sweetbread like a big win over Boston! Last night, thanks to McCann & Co, the club has vaulted back to within 4 games - FOUR! - of the away-field Wild Card advantage! (Note: The overuse of exclamation points should in no way be considered a suggestion of sarcasm.)

But these days, the lucky fans also have a chance to glimpse the YANKEE STARS OF TOMORROW - yes, the eight wide-eyed youngsters who have been called up to the big team for that first-ever major league cup of joe! For the next month, these farm-fresh seedlings can hang with the grizzlies and soak up some big city hook-ups - times they'll never forget! On the last road trip, the team will assign them wacky, funny costumes - some will cross-dress! - and we can all rejoice knowing the team has a cavalry of talent on the way!

Aww, enough talk, everybody! Let's meet this year's Yankee Kiddie Crop!

Chris Young, age 30. This slugging RF can do it all - run, throw, swing and catch! No sooner did Chris arrive, than he was assigned A-Rod's empty locker! Obviously, the Yanks have high hopes for "Forever Young!"

Rich Hill, 34. Within two years, this wily lefty could be 36! Another sign the Yankee farm is Loaded with LOOGIES!

Chaz Roe, 27, This peach-fuzzed linchpin of the Bullpen Kiddie Corp. stepped in the other night and threw an inning of relief, holding the Jays to just two runs! That caught MGR Joe's attention. If David Robertson thinks he can hold the Yankees for ransom in contract talks, he better think again!

Antoan Richardson, 30. This fast-blooming Jack of All Trades was a menstrual cramp in the side of International League pitchers all season. He batted .271 at Scranton, putting himself in position to challenge for a starting role next year! Over his 10-year minor league career, the Ant Man has blasted 15 HRs!

Chase Whitley, 25. Yank fans need no introduction to this righty, who saved our team's bacon in June. Next year, he could challenge for starting role - that is, if he doesn't need another six or seven years of seasoning.

Preston Claiborne, 26. Yeesh. The name is familiar, but I can't place him. There was a Claiborne last fall who had some rough outings against Boston. Could they be brothers?

John Ryan Murphy. 23. Another phantom. There was a J.R. Murphy last season who showed great promise. He can't be this one. This guy sort of floundered at Scranton, and just barely beat out Austin Romine - (remember him?) - for the call-up. Hm-mm, I wonder if they're related?

Bryan Mitchell, 23. Huh? The interweb says this guy threw 102 innings this year in Trenton and Scranton. Sadly, he's way too young to be taken seriously. Come back in 10 years, pally. Maybe then the Evil Empire will have room.

1 comment:

Tom said...

it's tough to break through and earn a spot in the Yankee lineup. That's because we are so consistent from 1 through 9 in the order. Just this morning, I was looking at the League Leaders column in the paper and I saw the kind of well-rounded balance that other teams can only dream of. Gardner was listed for triples and Elsbury for stolen bases and that was it for Yankees. Unlike other teams that rely too heavily on one or two sluggers, the Yankees show amazing consistency up and down the order, and each guy knows not to be a stat hog.