This is your captain speaking. Some passengers have reported seeing smoke coming out of the right-side wing. It is nothing to worry about. We will, however, be experiencing turbulence in the next few minutes, so the SEAT BELT sign will be on...

Happy Memorial Day Weekend. It's 90 degrees in upstate New York, Alphonso's coming to visit, and I gotta take a handful of aspirin.

Here's a bold prediction: In the next few weeks, something is going to happen. I don't know what. We might win some games. We might lose some games. But something will happen. Something...

(Hey, that's why we're Yankee fans, right? Because we believe things will happen. We're not sure what they will be. If we knew, the games wouldn't be a surprise, am I right, am I right, am I right? You becha, I am! Of course, some of you will disagree. That's ok. Lively debate is important, especially on the subject of the New York Yankees, baseball's premier baseball team. Still, I don't mind going out on a limb here: I firmly believe you naysayers who say, "Nay! Nothing is going to happen..." you don't know nothing. Something is going to happen, and you can take that to the steak, Doctor Porterhouse!)

When I look into the Big IIHIIFIIc Crystal Ball, I see ex-Yankees returning. I see Swisher. I see Jesus H. Montero. It's a shame Lyle Overbay has retired. (Has Lyle Overbay retired?) It's almost a given that management will sign a name from the past, because that's what we do.

The Yankees are gunning for their 6th ever Wild Card. (Fun fact: The Redsocks lead all of baseball, with 7 Wild Card appearances. The Yankees are second, with five. The Rockies, Cardinals, Astros and Pirates are tied for third, with three apiece.) I don't think the 2016 Yankees are going to add to their Wild Card record. But something will happen.

And you know what? Aint agonna matter. Not to this team. Not to this to this owner. Not to this season. We are where we are. We are what we are.

The owner, the YES machine, and the Yankee Radio Network Driven By Jeep will all tell you that that 2016 Yankees compare favorably to most franchises in baseball.

But what they don't compare well to is... the Yankees.

Happy weekend. I gotta soak my head in ice water. Alphonso is coming.